Not nicer but deeper

Signs of spring abound juxtaposing the promise of new life with the reality of death in this season of both green and black, this season of life altered by a rogue virus. How can we possibly take it all in?

The goodness that we can find in our shared humanity isn’t far off as neighbors serenade the streets with music. We put teddy bears in the front windows of our homes for the kids passing by at a safe distance or join masses of cars flashing emergency lights to support the healthcare workers laboring inside our local medical centers at night. Each gesture brings a smile, some warmth for a brief moment in time.

Conversely it seems that the fear of a silent killer has intensified the divisiveness, the viciousness in social and public media to levels not seen since caveman days. Our society has gone beyond simple disagreement to sarcasm and its true definition: to “tear flesh.” Hatred, really. It doesn’t matter to the masses that we are all in this together, that we are all at war against the same enemy. The process of dealing with COVID-19 will reveal the good and bad in each of us at some point. The stress is crushing in the weakness of our humanity. If you looked more closely I believe you could say that below the surface, we are all hurting from the loss of life as we once knew it.

I’ll never forget the 2 women joking about the newly coined term of “social distancing” in front of the organic produce section of our local grocery store as we waited our turns to step up and select a vegetable or two. That was only a month ago. Yesterday no one was joking in their combination of bare hands or gloves and masks, grasping a sanitized shopping cart, and standing 6 feet apart on the blue stickers marking the floor at the checkout line. The air was tense as I observed the cashier wearing only one latex-free glove, the gal bagging our wearing a re-usable cloth mask and no gloves, then me taking off one of my sweaty gloves to sign the screen of the credit card reader (before sanitizing that hand with a little bottle of same in our truck). This is nuts!

I submit to you that overall the COVID-19 Pandemic is not bringing out the best in people yet. I am glad and grateful to see the goodness here and there. I do believe that most of us in our hearts are somewhere between survival mode and beast mode. We are struggling in our own strength to establish some sort of normal routine while living in the chaos. That is simply not possible yet. How can we do so when in the back of our minds we are wondering if we or our loved ones will be the star of that leaked YouTube video of the patient dying alone in an ICU bed or worse, packed in a black bag in the refrigerated truck parked outside the freight entrance of the hospital? Yes, this is way beyond nuts!

Experts tell us that the world here in the United States will get worse before it gets better. But probably in each of our own private spaces and places, there will be some nice things that will happen. Some loving and meaningful moments will be in the mix. But we must ask ourselves if that is enough? Is it enough to just survive the pandemic of year 2020 with a few GIFs and memes from Facebook in our minds? Or conversely do we throw up our hands, succumb to addiction (including stuffing ourselves with food) and say if we die, we die? I mean really, how does one cope when the world is going increasingly mad?

You go deeper Gentle Reader. You go deeper than asking how or why or when or where or who or what. You go deeper than the comfort of your own bed (if your are blessed to have one) and kitchen full of food (if you are blessed to have one). You ask yourself what life will be like 2 months from now when your housemates can’t stand each other anymore or your employer had to close its business after all, when the government goes bankrupt or the earth groans with the tragedy that actually didn’t take us all out. You ask yourself about the value of your own life and the ones you love and further, the very meaning of life itself.

I pray that it is sooner than later Gentle Reader, that you will go beyond the darkness of days to go deeper still. For it is then that we both will know without any doubt that we were never alone in all of this mess. There is a purpose and a plan. We will find a peace that transcends the mess of this world. This is not of ourselves such that no man may boast. We simply are not strong enough. All along the way the God of the universe is watching, waiting, listening, grieving, loving, and ready to see us through no matter what happens. It is for His design and glory that we live. Say what? How can I say this? I found the answers, the truth in His Word. I found that the Lord ordained supreme testing within a horrific illness I endured and battled over the past 8 years. And through it all, there was meaning and purpose. I was never alone. He was always there with me whether I felt His presence or not. And always there was peace beyond the strife. I escaped death more times than the 9 lives of Morris the cat; COVID-19 doesn’t change a thing whether I live or die. My eternal life that transcends the strife of this world began a long time ago.

The world simply will not, no never satisfy the groaning, the longing of our hearts. That place is for Jesus Christ alone. Want to explore this topic further? Go right now to the book of John. Find a Bible. And dwell amongst the pillars of the King who loves you so! Do it now before it is too late. JJ

It's a Mad Mad Mad World NOT!

Two million or more people moved from wandering in the desert for some 40 years to a dedicated process of preparing to realize their mission, their dreams. Virtually every need had been met over 4 decades, every action guided by the God of the universe that led them there, and all transpired with displays of majestic power to encourage them along the way. They were free after years and years of harsh slavery, multiplied fruitfully, and were about to receive all that was promised to them. What more could the children of Israel have wanted? In their own minds, much more. They griped, built golden images to worship, and failed to heed their leaders over and over again. Many were punished and died as a result; many others just followed along while some questioned where was God? Gee, these people would make “good” Americans right now!

We gripe when our needs are not met within tiny frames of time. We worship people, places, and things instead of the Lord our God. We fail to respect the very leaders the Lord ordains for our lives whether it be our pastor or the President of the United States then wonder why we personally don’t feel respected either. We resist the natural consequences of our actions, fight for some lofty goal of social justice that will never fully arrive in this fallen world, and in doing so push ourselves further away from the God of mercy, true justice, grace, love, and peace. It’s a mad, mad, mad world right now. And the more we strive in our own strength, the more we will squelch our lives of the gifts of this unique time in human history. We are at war with an enemy more “unseen” than the (.3) micron coronavirus-19. Our enemy is our very own pride. A pride that separates us from God and each other, more than “social distancing” ever will.

I live in the heartland of the United States where hard work used to pay off. Whether you went to college or worked your way up the ladder of a manufacturing plant, worked in the trades, or built a small business, you could feed your face and that of your family if you just worked hard. No matter what life threw at you, you were going to be o.k. eventually. Eventually I would come to know my own work ethic as a virtue instilled by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave me the skills I would need to navigate life until I found a personal relationship with Him. Thereafter, my strength would not be enough to survive: the tests and trials were too great to overcome them on my own. And by seeking His face, my Lord sustained me, provided for me, grew me into the woman that I am today. Often I don’t feel these gifts of mercy, true justice, grace, love, and peace. More importantly, I know each are there all of the time no matter what else is going on.

I’ve had a rough go of things again lately. The serious illness that I endure has only become more complicated with new thyroid issues, new dental infections that need specialized care. The latter simply cannot be addressed for weeks because of the quarantine recommendations of our government (and governments around the world). There is very little that me and my beloved can do about the need to wait for medical care, even though this type of infection is known to worsen a person’s health. I also need to find a new clinic in our smaller town to provide the infusions that I receive twice per month; they have helped keep me out of the emergency room for over a year. But only essential and emergency care are now provided at virtually all medical facilities that are preparing for the pandemic. I understand these needs. I really don’t know if several hours per day of convulsive episodes qualify for essential and emergency care when no one has figured out how to treat or stop them yet. Specialized dental care twice in the past made a BIG DIFFERENCE, however. What shall we do?

I know that the Lord sees and grieves my suffering. I know that the Lord hears and grieves the suffering of people sick with this new virus and who are afraid of all the effects it has had on our society to date. I know He hears the cries of His children whether we have professed love for Him or not. You know that we are isolated and hurting. We do need you now. We are like your children of Israel wandering in the desert, needing to see the cloud over the tabernacle by day to know that you are near and what to do. With the presence of so much evil, the consequences of living in a fallen world, the events that puzzle us but you mysteriously have ordained, the leaders over us who shun you, and the tearing apart of these once United States of America, WE NEED YOU NOW. Might we catch a glimpse of Your fire, Your glory to help us, to help me carry on this night?

In the meantime Gentle Reader, please do take care of yourself and your loved ones. Here is my prayer for you as you seek the desires of your own heart. I submit to you that you will find everything you want and need in the person of Jesus Christ.

Thank you for being here with me. Godspeed one and all, JJ

From Wondrous Works Shop on Etsy

Just turn a corner already with Anti-Crud Bombs!

Just when you thought the world couldn’t get more crazy, dark, complicated, enter the COVID19 mayhem! We are taking notice at our house and putting some basic emergency-preparedness strategies in place and increasing our consumption of foods-and-supplements shown to have anti-viral properties. Tis always a good idea and wise steward of resources, including information, to take care of your self and loved ones if you can.

In the midst of all of this, I decided to create a healthy snack food for me and my beloved. We are taking anti-virals already but how about improving our fight-stance using up some of those weird powders and potions I have collected from our local health food stores? No prob. And just like that, JJW’s Anti-Crud Bombs were born!

Just Julie Write’s Anti-Crud Bombs*

BASE

2 T Organic elderberry syrup

2 T Upgraded nano zinc liquid or similar

1 t Bee pollen granules or powder

1 T Grass-fed, organic collagen

¼ t Celtic/Himalayan sea salt

1/8 C Organic coconut oil, solid, at room temperature

1/8 C Gaia Immunity Shine or similar powdered product

1/8 C Baobab, pomegranate, or other plain, low-sugar/super ox powder

¼ C Finely shredded, unsweetened organic coconut

2 T Liposomal vitamin C liquid or powder

¼ C (Lactose-free?) grass-fed, organic whey powder

Substitute ingredients as needed.  Mix first 5 ingredients (or ones of smaller quantity) first.  Use a pastry blender or 2 knife-and-fork to cut-n-combine with remaining  ingredients until crumbly like pastry batter.  A normal person will want his or her BOMBS to taste at least somewhat good so add familiar flavors.  A health nut like me with lots of dietary restrictions will want to limit sugars, even add bitters to reduce glycemic impact.  There is evidence that sugar or anything sweet-tasting can deplete immunity and/or mess with blood sugar levels so only use as much as you need.  NO SWEETENERS of any kind!  This is a “health food” not a snack or candy.  Divide mixture in half if making 2 versions below; you have 3 options from here:  1) Add Sweetened Version ingredients to half of the Base, 2) Add Low Sugar Version ingredients to the other half of the Base, or 3) Add entire Base to the version you choose.  Adjust ingredients so the mixture remains somewhat crumbly but sticks together when you pinch it.

Sweetened Version                                   Health Nut Version

½ C Organic peanut or almond butter                               ½ C Organic almond or

2T Chopped organic cranberries                                                  mixed Seed Butter

1/8 C Organic coconut sugar                                             2 T Chopped organic black currants

                                                                                                1 t Finely ground, roasted dandelion root powder

(maya nut, etc.)

Set aside:  Organic cocoa powder                                    Ground flax seeds, etc.

Form mixture into a large ball.  Place on sheet of waxed paper, pinch and roll into

A short log about 1 ½ inches in diameter.  Wrap in waxed paper and refrigerate 2

hours.  Slice firm batter into about 1-inch pieces, roll into a ball in the warmth of

your hands and roll in desired powder.  Store in airtight container, placing waxed

paper between layers of bombs.  These should keep about a week in the

refrigerator and freeze well too.

GOALS FOR THIS RECIPE:

  • As low-sugar as possible but reasonably tasty, earthy?
  • Include protein and fat to balance simple carbs somewhat.
  • Add bitter flavors to potentially reduce blood sugar impact, promote bile flow.
  • Use as many anti-microbial-like herbs, supps, and foods as possible.
  • Sufficient fat to create refrigerated dough, make bombs satisfying.
  • Be able to freeze them.
  • Avoid heat so as not to degrade or change ingredients in any way.
  • Encourage one’s spouse/loved one to add potent, anti-crud supplements to his/her otherwise “normal” diet without tasting too weird.
  • Avoid impacting metabolism or interfering with sleep as much as possible.
  • Add fiber, healthy fats, omega 3s, minerals.
  • Put all the crazy powders and ingredients I have collected to good use.
  • Convenience.  We have one in the morning and one at night.

*Julie makes no claims about the benefits or drawbacks of these ingredients or bombs! Please do your own research and substitute your favorite wellness items as desired. Enjoy!

Still waiting on a message

So it’s not cancer but another diagnosis puzzle to solve.

My brother’s situation remains complex with more heartache that I can even bear right now.

More tests. More results pending like last month.

Struggling to live in the moment laden with seizures or clinging to the simplest of things.

Forced myself to head out with my beloved then crashed for 2 days thereafter.

Carry on. One day there will be more. My God’s got this!

I didn’t get the message

Ever wonder what the outcome might have been if we had been just a moment earlier or perhaps later at a given moment in time? When you just missed the ice cream truck as a kid or perhaps as an adult, a former lover narrowly escapes your intrusion on his moment of indiscretion? What about that moment of sickness that you managed to hide from the critical eye of a relative or that time you arrived at the grocery store only to find one box of your favorite cereal left on the shelf instead of two? Perhaps I didn’t get the message or the Divine nudge . . . or maybe I just ignored it and I am the better for it in the end. Such my rationalization goes.

Then there’s the time when the message never seems to come at all. You get the first part of some saucy news but never the rest of the story and you are left hanging in disbelief, doubt, dread, or worse. Is my severely disabled brother going to be o.k. or not? Will someone paleeeeese return my phone calls? When will I find out the results of a biopsy procedure for crying out loud? I want answers NOW!!! Perhaps the Lord ordains that a little more time is needed so I simply have to slog out the wait. Such is one of the hardest tasks in a life still structured by time, not yet unstructured by eternity. As believers in Jesus Christ, we’re still here in our constraints of time and space. The waiting we must do is necessary yet really hard sometimes.

The weeks when prayers seem to go unanswered, no direction comes after hours spent pleading on our knees, events come forth in puzzling sequences that confound the issues at hand, you never really figure out what the heck was going on or the purpose of it all in the end. Such are the mysteries of living a life in the slow lane and especially of a person battling chronic illness day after day after day. It’s really hard to believe that what you see is all that you might get out of your broken life. Alas we always hope for something more than we have don’t we?

I just didn’t get the message that there would come a point at which things would not get better for me. Blessings abound around me but my health has not improved; it has deteriorated. Every few months has brought serious new problems that threaten to choke the life out of me. My wiggle room has gotten smaller. Forget rebounding to a prior level of functioning. It just isn’t happening for me right now. So yes, I am really down in the dumps tonight. I have been up all night for the second night in a row with a daytime of sleeping to follow. The unseasonably warm and sunny day out there in the Midwest will be enjoyed by folks other than myself as the tic attacks wreak havoc on my sleep/wake cycles once again. Wasn’t I getting better a year ago around this time? Didn’t I have the best spring last year of the prior 8 years? What has happened?

TO BE CONTINUED . . .