All we have is this moment in time. I mean who can make sure a birthday cake comes out right tomorrow when it is today? Who can redo a soggy flower bed from last year on a wintery day? The best strategy is to stay in the moment where we can do our best to be mindful of the Lord and if He leads, do our best work, best thinking, best living.
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
These themes were revealed today by our German shepherd dog, Elle. I decided to push the limit of my activity level and do a few things outdoors in the heat. After making it through my husband’s kayak race at the Fort Wayne Riverfest, I was very warm, straining to function and all-around uncomfortable. Nonetheless, since I was still covered with sunscreen and bug spray so when I got home, I figured this would be a good time to replant 2 pots, feed our acid-loving plants in the patio garden, and so on before coming into the house to take a shower. Elle was outside with me doing the things she likes to do too: sniff, sniff, sniff! Not 15 minutes had gone by before our generally obedient pup was gone from my watchful eye. “Whhhhhhit,” I called. No dog. She usually comes racing around the house back to me when I whistle for her. Hmmmm.
But of course! It’s very humid and above 80 degrees F outside today. The clouds are long gone and she was panting rather hard not long after joining me in the yard. Guess the sip of water from the garden hose wasn’t enough for her. Elle had taken herself for a swim! She loves to “play hippo” as my husband calls it, in the neighborhood pond behind our property. She stays in the water long enough to cool her belly then wanders out into the public area around the pond to sniff out some rabbit tracks and inspect the perimeter of our neighbor’s backyard. I whistled a little louder. Yeah, a wet dog came a running!
The German shepherd gets it. She got hot. She wanted relief. She went for a swim in the pond and came back to her usual activities thereafter. Oh to be able to think like a dog sometimes! Elle keeps it simple. Not me. I continued to pot up some vinca flowers despite the sweat running into my eyes causing tremendous burning, first the right eye and then the left. “I can’t stop,” I tell myself, “because I would have to go into the house to wash my hands then go to the bathroom and get distracted by 5 other things and never get back outside to finish if I do.” Geez. In the 12-Step programs they used to call that “stinking thinking.” To do first that which is most important is another slogan from my ACOA days. Maybe I don’t trust myself when I’m feeling crummy? Guess I haven’t learned to apply all of the slogans yet. Guess I’m still struggling with a pared down version of Matthew 6:34 as well. Forget worrying about tomorrow, I’m stressed about the next moment!
The significance of this behavior goes beyond the sweat in my eyes. I am also dealing with and increase in noxious symptoms from a short course of antibiotics for an infection. Add to that the aftermath of two terrible episodes of seizure attacks before and after an MRI yesterday, broken sleep, heat intolerance requiring me to leave the races before some additional events, and low blood sugar, it seems like I should be inside the house taking care of myself anyways. Sigh. But I want to work in my garden!
I want to do it all and it hurts me sometimes when I do. In doing so, I get in my own way of feeling good. So I’m going to be gentle with myself as I work on this tendency and apply some Biblical truth that will last, will transform me. Let’s see, at the time I am writing this the internet connection went down. I copied the draft into a word document so I wouldn’t lose my precious thoughts. This means that I can’t search some fancy Bible verse website for just the right verse to get me moving in the right direction. It also means that I must go and get out the Big Book itself. Hmmmmm again. I haven’t had my quiet time with the Lord yet today. Perhaps you can guess, gentle reader, what needs to happen next?
Seeya later. It’s time my moment counts for Him and not me. We’ll talk later.
Addendum: As soon as I turned off the computer the Holy Spirit gave me the verse before the one above. Thank you Lord
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33