1 In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame. 2 In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me; turn your ear to me and save me. 3 Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress. 4 Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.
5 For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. 6 From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you. 7 I have become a sign to many; you are my strong refuge. 8 My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.
9 Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. 10 For my enemies speak against me; those who wait to kill me conspire together. 11 They say, “God has forsaken him; pursue him and seize him, for no one will rescue him.” 12 Do not be far from me, my God; come quickly, God, to help me. 13 May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and disgrace.
14 As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long— though I know not how to relate them all. 16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. 17 Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. 18 Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.
19 Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens, you who have done great things. Who is like you, God? 20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. 21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.
22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, Holy One of Israel. 23 My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you— I whom you have delivered. 24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.
Tonight as my body thrashed about I cried out to the Lord, asking “don’t you see me?”
Tonight I cried out for the Lord to take me, as in take me home. He did not answer.
Tonight I cried out asking Him not to leave me here this way. He did not answer.
The after burn of the seizure attacks, flu-spikes, chest compression symptoms making breathing labored, increased pain, and massive neck headache was unbearable once again this evening. Things are getting worse. This was my third episode today with over two dozen individual incidences!
My precious husband got out of bed after 1:00 a.m. to get me something to eat in an effort to end the tic attacks that would not stop after the seizures.
It is now over an hour later and I am stable. I am beat up. I am still here!
I will remind myself to have hope, to cultivate hope that comes through faith in Jesus Christ. Sometimes He speaks and sometimes He is silent. And for those who believe in Him, He is always present.
Psalm 71 puts it all together for me right now, so this is how I will pray as I go forth from this night. And that’s about how far I have gotten. My tummy hurts. Time to go back to bed. I think I can sleep now.