The night cometh calmly then burst into flames
Carrying violence within my fame rather than that intended for rest
Sleep yet so elusive: its nemesis pushes through the darkness
Leaving me quite empty, without a trace from where it came, no rhyme or reason to blame.
How can I go on? Asks the Benadryl box to the other remedy he found;
When will she learn to give in or give up and let the beast win whether or not I am around?
The behemoth within begs as if breathing a hell all its own into my frame
Taunting perhaps by demons, images more frightening than a horror flick not ever seen.
“None of that matters oh sweet one writhing in My care
This season shall pass, I assure you, if you but hold on one more day
For all you have is this breath and this scene set before you but
Be wise tender child for your torment shall not go unrewarded in due time.”
“But when? But why? Have I not earned a better place in your heart?
Have I not earned the way home sans suffering? Is it not yet enough?”
I have no answers for you just one request my chosen child full of grace:
That you trust me beyond anything you can imagine for infinity is where I am.
I love you most in the silence, the seizing of your heart really being remade anew,
The breaths that I hold rather than you, the nightmares that will become beautiful, I promise.
And then He spoke no more. No more salve for my breaking outer shell
I was left more alone than one can ever feel: seeing nothing ahead but His light up ahead.
Get up and start to move was all I could do with an emptiness burdening my mind
There would be no relief this night in the realm of the world around me, all that which is seen.
The relief came in my heart as I chose to yet still believe
That my Lord still loves me and always has no matter what it seems.
The refining fire has sent grief, with tears actually covering me from being consumed
So that one day I will know all the answers that I seek, when all is revealed.
Until then, Gentle Reader, these Vampire Diaries shall end
No need to rehash the trauma in a new form for don’t you “get it” by now
Or do you? Do you see that suffering is not the place we should ultimately land
For it is in our hearts, in our spirits that we shall one day live in a world without end.
He hath prepared a place for us in which to dwell in exquisite grandeur
No weeping, no sorrow, no gnashing of teeth nor any trials will follow you:
The pain will be over. He will lead me in goodness this way I do believe too.
My God hath not forsaken me but saved me no less.
There will be hope beyond the cross as He hath said.
Know that He is with us always (now and forever) so carry on my dear friend
Wait just a little longer. Can you do that for me as I will too til the end.
Oh how I love thinking of our jubilation together that glorious day coming soon He hath said!
With love, JJ