It's a Mad Mad Mad World NOT!

Two million or more people moved from wandering in the desert for some 40 years to a dedicated process of preparing to realize their mission, their dreams. Virtually every need had been met over 4 decades, every action guided by the God of the universe that led them there, and all transpired with displays of majestic power to encourage them along the way. They were free after years and years of harsh slavery, multiplied fruitfully, and were about to receive all that was promised to them. What more could the children of Israel have wanted? In their own minds, much more. They griped, built golden images to worship, and failed to heed their leaders over and over again. Many were punished and died as a result; many others just followed along while some questioned where was God? Gee, these people would make “good” Americans right now!

We gripe when our needs are not met within tiny frames of time. We worship people, places, and things instead of the Lord our God. We fail to respect the very leaders the Lord ordains for our lives whether it be our pastor or the President of the United States then wonder why we personally don’t feel respected either. We resist the natural consequences of our actions, fight for some lofty goal of social justice that will never fully arrive in this fallen world, and in doing so push ourselves further away from the God of mercy, true justice, grace, love, and peace. It’s a mad, mad, mad world right now. And the more we strive in our own strength, the more we will squelch our lives of the gifts of this unique time in human history. We are at war with an enemy more “unseen” than the (.3) micron coronavirus-19. Our enemy is our very own pride. A pride that separates us from God and each other, more than “social distancing” ever will.

I live in the heartland of the United States where hard work used to pay off. Whether you went to college or worked your way up the ladder of a manufacturing plant, worked in the trades, or built a small business, you could feed your face and that of your family if you just worked hard. No matter what life threw at you, you were going to be o.k. eventually. Eventually I would come to know my own work ethic as a virtue instilled by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave me the skills I would need to navigate life until I found a personal relationship with Him. Thereafter, my strength would not be enough to survive: the tests and trials were too great to overcome them on my own. And by seeking His face, my Lord sustained me, provided for me, grew me into the woman that I am today. Often I don’t feel these gifts of mercy, true justice, grace, love, and peace. More importantly, I know each are there all of the time no matter what else is going on.

I’ve had a rough go of things again lately. The serious illness that I endure has only become more complicated with new thyroid issues, new dental infections that need specialized care. The latter simply cannot be addressed for weeks because of the quarantine recommendations of our government (and governments around the world). There is very little that me and my beloved can do about the need to wait for medical care, even though this type of infection is known to worsen a person’s health. I also need to find a new clinic in our smaller town to provide the infusions that I receive twice per month; they have helped keep me out of the emergency room for over a year. But only essential and emergency care are now provided at virtually all medical facilities that are preparing for the pandemic. I understand these needs. I really don’t know if several hours per day of convulsive episodes qualify for essential and emergency care when no one has figured out how to treat or stop them yet. Specialized dental care twice in the past made a BIG DIFFERENCE, however. What shall we do?

I know that the Lord sees and grieves my suffering. I know that the Lord hears and grieves the suffering of people sick with this new virus and who are afraid of all the effects it has had on our society to date. I know He hears the cries of His children whether we have professed love for Him or not. You know that we are isolated and hurting. We do need you now. We are like your children of Israel wandering in the desert, needing to see the cloud over the tabernacle by day to know that you are near and what to do. With the presence of so much evil, the consequences of living in a fallen world, the events that puzzle us but you mysteriously have ordained, the leaders over us who shun you, and the tearing apart of these once United States of America, WE NEED YOU NOW. Might we catch a glimpse of Your fire, Your glory to help us, to help me carry on this night?

In the meantime Gentle Reader, please do take care of yourself and your loved ones. Here is my prayer for you as you seek the desires of your own heart. I submit to you that you will find everything you want and need in the person of Jesus Christ.

Thank you for being here with me. Godspeed one and all, JJ

From Wondrous Works Shop on Etsy

In my neighborhood

If all I could see most days was that beyond my window

I would delight in the four seasons of color, of life given the neighborhood.

If all I could hear was the barks, creaks, whirring, whoosing inside our home

I would be reasonable for the solace of being alone brings peace between each one.

If all I could smell was the beast under my feet in our mostly clean house that we share

I would concede in the relative order of things that hasn’t gone to awry in my senesence.

If all I could feel was an occasional cool breeze blowing in from the opened blind beyond

I would love that this Fall has been quite mild, keeping my toes a wittle warmer at night.

If all I could sense was the softness of my baby blue-colored robe as I write these words to you

I would be glad for one area of comfort that stands out amongst the rest . . . in gratitude.

And if all of these things came true as they have this day in our home, in our neighborhood

Then I say that I am at peace with the world:  God is good.  All the time.  He is so very good.

For it is in the ordinary things of life in which we live and find our meaningfulness each day

On this street here with my hubby, our pup already asleep, with me saying “good night” one and all, and Godspeed too.

Psalm 121, peace, coming and going, gratitude, rest, forever

Climb Every Mountain

This song came to mind with the burdens of late.  “Keep moving forward,” my brother used to say.  “Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding . . . ” we find in Proverbs 3:5-6.  And when I was a girl, it was the singing of Mother Superior in the Sound of Music that captured my spirit.  She begins with the instruction that, “we have to live the life we were born to live.”

Ah yes.  Now I shall praise my Lord Jesus Christ for bringing it to mind.  May the wonder of my youth, the life I was born to live be rekindled in my soul.  You too, Gentle Reader.  You too.  JJ

We must learn to let go

You must learn to let go to move forward.

“Keep moving forward” my brother, Mike, used to say when we were settling the estate of our dear mother after her death.  The attachment and meaning of each object and task made moving in any direction difficult, confusing at times, and so very final.  Then we decided to take them one at a time.  Then we decided to learn to let go . . .

The unmade necklaces which would have surely been my best work needed to be disassembled today before they were ever completed.  If I had stopped to make jewelry this afternoon then I would have never made my deadline for shipping Trinity Jewelry by Design to its new owner.  I actually tried putting the beads back on the cotton fibers before realizing that I needed to stop and it would be o.k. to let these unmade designs go . . .

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The 9-foot mural on the wall of my condo in Naperville, Illinois took a year to complete.  I began with sunny colors of yellow tracing paper, pastel hues of unyru papers from India, custom-stenciled golden palm leaves, a few rhinestone swirls, lettering from a local sign shop, and a very important message about the bunny trails of life being such a very important part of the journey.  “But what about the mural?” my friends would ask when moving to be with my intended beloved would take me 200 miles to the East of my happy place.  Yes, finding true love required leaving the art of restoration behind:  a different song of letting go . . .

When the pain of running my life on emptiness, stress, unanswered questions of “why?” and never having enough to make a difference anyways I finally crashed into the arms of my Jesus.  At the time I was 29 years old, single, working full time, and forever trying to finish my Master’s degree.  Then a laundrymat attendant laid out the plan of salvation and invited me to come to the table of the Lord for refreshment, forgiveness, renewal, eternal life with Him.  Later that night with tears the wasted meaningless living-for-me finally did let go once and for all . . .

The hurt of wretched divorce grieves my Lord and me, sometimes even now when I have known such goodness in my new life with Steve.  It took me years of harboring what it would take to even the score if given the chance:  holding onto the files that would prove the ways in which I was wronged.  Then I realized that the one carrying the baggage too far was me not him.  I was already forgiven years ago for my part in things.  In due time and with lightness of heart I finally learned to let go of that other person too . . .

Who could ever imagine the hellish suffering of these past three years with my head banging to and fro day after day?  Literally, I mean, with a yet undiagnosed illness that has had too many pieces to keep track anymore.  Cries out for healing one thousand times have made little difference on the surface; it’s so easy to become discouraged, to give up in motionless brokenness of the worst kind.  “Who knows if the trials will ever end?” I often wonder when up late at night.  We cannot know much about tomorrow so we must move along in faith today.  For through faith, through Divine intervention, I have had enough grace once again to get me through yet another episode, another day.  And the smallest of sweetness has come that would have been missed had it come any other way.  So to the throne of grace with great expectation I do most definitely let my achy breaky heart go . . .

For who really knows when the Lover of my soul shall return in glory or to take me home?  When He comes for me I’m sure I will recognize His name, His face, His comfort from all the days I’ve seen each of these before.  I cannot afford to be discouraged or waste much time groaning the pangs of sorrow in this life when preparation is what is now due.  It is time for letting God direct my every word, my every task:  my thoughts held captive as an offering in love nothing else.

Oh how I do pray He comes soon to take me home to His mansion with many rooms and warm embrace!  Yet in the meantime, Gentle Reader, my Jesus directs me to keep my eyes on Him from here and the one step of the path (that’s all) in front of me as I go.  Yes, I must learn to let go of more than I ever dreamed I would need to and let it all slip through my hands to be free.  My happiness depends upon this for the lightness in my spirit that will carry me to the wondrous places in life you or I may ever go.  I trust that down the road a bit it will be truly beautiful and worth lightening the load a bit don’t you think?  JJ

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

For this I have seen

The darkest time of night

Brings hope in ways not the norm:

When breathing is restored and the room stands still

My mind clears and my Lord speaks in ways never heard before.

He knows my frame

And delivers me once again

With less pain overall these days

And more wisdom than trauma for all the suffering.

For alas I can go

To such a wretched place

Time and again whilst wondering “why?”

Only to find hidden answers just for me, in the those tender places.

Not all makes sense

And that can be o.k. in the end

When I know the Lord is at the helm

And uses my suffering for His glory, my healing, to bring light, and more.

No, it was not wasted

When I found you who came along

This way with me where the blackest times of night

Served to shine streams of sunshine into days once lived in shades of gray.

Oh to keep mediocrity!

That would be dreadful indeed.

To never see beyond vanilla, boring landscapes

Creeping traffic in the middle lane when the Audubon beckons in a Ferrari 458.

Mach 1 with your hair aflame

Is bound to singe your eyebrows too

But how will you know if you are truly alive my dear

If you have not seen, tasted death along the edges of life truly lived whoot, whoot?

Because when it is over

A job will be waiting for you as me:

To tell our stories to those stuck in the dark

Or on an exit ramp on the wrong road they once thought went nowhere too.

There is always more

Even when our breaths are numbered

When we each see the door to the last destination

And can no longer wonder if we did too much or too little when our past cannot change.

The door to eternity awaits us both dear one:

With adventure of which we cannot conceive;

A place filled with wonder and no more tears

Where our heart will be home, finally, at last.

Will you risk this to be true and come to Him?

Will you lay down your fight, the need to know

To let Jesus Christ be your true reason to live:

The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end.

Even when in our hearts we must let Him reign

Leading our thoughts and quieting all our fears

Adding His increase when no strength remains.

Finding this kind of peace transcends all we see:

We will find more than the mind can imagine for

We will live at peace I tell you for this I have seen.

:JJ

 

diaperthongGotcha!  ;J