Slow but sure

Whenever my Dad’s mom was facing a setback in her health she had one phrase regarding her progress, “I am getting there, slow but sure.”  She might be in the hospital with an exceedingly painful case of shingles but her response was just the same.  Surely this attitude endeared many of the medical staff to care for her just a little more.  I sure appreciated her more when she reassured me with these words over the phone 300 miles away.

slow but sure, slowly but surely, senior crossing, traffic sign, grandma, grandmother, sign

I have decided to borrow this attitude for myself.  Perhaps it will help with another temporary setback as I recover from a recent biopsy of my thyroid.  My neck hurts!  The procedures and resulting discomfort have triggered more noxious symptoms including those related to hormone fluctuations:  temperature dysregulation, blood sugar swings, occasional tearfulness, etc.  But it had to be done:  my third round of biopsies over the years at least this time was performed under conscious sedation.  Gratefully I did not have to be awake when they pushed that very long needle into my neck.  Eeeeek!

My recovery is coming along, slow but sure.  Today I was able to be upright more hours than yesterday and hopefully I will be able to leave the house tomorrow for an appointment before my infusion of antibiotics in the afternoon.  The latter continue 3x per week as they will very likely for the total of a year of IV ceftriaxone.  We are trusting the Lord to provide for all of this; we have had to pay thousands per month ourselves for most of this year.  With treatment by a naturopath and genetic coach, compounded medications and supplements, and every kind of co-pay there is, we should qualify for a medical tax deduction for the year without any problem!

At least now I am not failing unto death any more.  What good would I be to anyone to allow my health to decline without a fight?  I believe the Lord gave me a brain, five years, and an unusual provision of resources to get this job done so getter done I shall with my beloved Stevers leading the way.  Slowly but surely this train will reach the proverbial “Station*” just in time someday with a little less baggage for having fought the good fight.  And it looks like things may be looking up soon (provided the biopsy results indicate that the thyroid nodules are benign!).  Regardless:  God is good.  All the time.  God is good.

I hope that you know that to be true too, Gentle Reader.  Feel free to tell me about it below . . .

*https://justjuliewrites.com/2013/03/24/the-station-by-robert-j-hastings/

The Turning Point

When you start to leave hell, it’s important to take stock of where you have been and where you are then leave all of your baggage at the turning point.

Hi Gentle Reader.  This is my gentle wisdom to you as I gratefully and graciously turn the corner after 3 years of wretched illness.  Much grieving has already gone before me and my beloved Steve.  Much loss has already pruned that which is no longer critical to our lives.  Much angst at our Lord’s merciful throne of grace has established Who is most important in our lives and that He was leading us through all of this.  Much dashing of hopes in false turning points along the way has produced endurance for what appears to be the last leg of this race.  And yes, much joy has returned despite the jagged line that is normal in the recovery phase.  That’s o.k.  WE HAVE HOPE!!!

Briefly, I am experiencing 50% improvement in my health after beginning treatment for very high mercury levels.  This process will require a slow titration of chelating agents, detoxification with the gentlest of methods, much rest, and humility.  Humility?  Oh yeah, humility to stay watchful for the Lord’s leading each step of the way and to continue to lean on Him as my own strength returns.  My husband has proven himself again and again as the Lord’s instrument, a capable spiritual leader in my life.  I have many examples in my life how pride has gone before my downfall, you know (Proverbs 16:18).  I don’t want any more “slips and trips” anymore particularly of my own creation!

As I have started to feel better and do more my devotional time has diminished.  This is not good.  So in response to this turning point, I aim to spend more time in the Word than I have in the past when feeling reasonably well.  I aim to keep practicing gratitude:  holding lightly any material blessings, fruits of my labors, times of fellowship and the like.  I aim to smile more and complain less.  After all, I faced death many, many times!  These days the gift of  time and space, my talents and gifts, and the people/places/things around me are a bonus.  I have never believed that I deserved either the good or bad things that have happened in my life.  They simply “are.”  They simply “were.”  It is with great wonder that I aim to explore each day for what may come.

How can anyone really see beyond a turning point anyways when he or she has never been on a given journey before?  If we worry about it then we have chosen to believe a lie.  No one knows the future so why make up something bad?  Why not something good?  I aim to squelch what is false with what is true from God’s Word:

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  (Matthew 6)

Nuff said.  Steve and I enjoyed a long walk in the rain this evening with our pup.  This picture portrays my heart inside.  God is good.  All the time.  God is good.  JJ

God is good.  All the time.  God is good.
God is good. All the time. God is good.

 

 

There’s dirt under my fingernails!

No matter what happens from here, I must rejoice:  there’s dirt under my fingernails!

Yes, in the middle of this wretched illness, with many projects on hold, the sun shone and there was a break in the noxious symptoms plaguing my life.  So what did I do?  I got outside and played in the dirt, that’s what!dirt under fingernails

Harvested the overgrown swiss chard.

Planted the tomato salsa coneflower I bought from a local nursery last week.

Watered!

Cut back a few perennials that the dead flowerheads were spreading their seeds where I did not want them to go.

Cleaned up the dead stalks of the daylilies in the front beds.

Harvested a few radishes and 3 monster carrots.

Tidied up a bit here and there.

Started the conversion of a raised bed into a massive mulch pile for the winter.

Finally trimmed a dead branch from one of the three variegated dogwood bushes.

Cleaned up the grass overgrowth from one of the two trees leftover from my Spring clean-up.  Mulched.

Played with my garden dog, very happy to be out and about with me in the yard.  Oh pups.  You da best.

Now why would I detail every aspect of these precious 2 1/2 hours?  Because I would rather work in my garden than do just about anything.  It grieved me terribly to waste a beautiful afternoon on Tuesday when I was a few minutes from going outside and my symptoms tanked instead.  The ordeal ended Wednesday morning.  And so my frustration has continued for two years, with what has become the “endurance race” of recovery from Lyme disease and mold illness.  The best coping strategy is to make no plans, hope for a little something, and rejoice when at least I get some decent sleep no matter what time of day it comes.

Then when you can go out and get some dirt under your fingernails, TELL THE WORLD!!!  Oh and water soaked my right gym shoe too.  And my knee pads (essential over age 50 you know) are encrusted with mud.  Ain’t it great?

Hang in there, Gentle Readers.  Sometimes something good happens when you least expect it.  :J