Why is it that tragic news of a dear loved one has so many layers as we take it all in?
First there is the shocking disbelief that something so horrific could even happen. But it did and it does. The impact is not yet realized on this one for sure.
My beloved and I prayed several times as the news unfolded across the evening: the details coming forth slowly, leaving more questions than answers tonight.
Then a little later when simply lying with my beloved for refreshment triggered my own symptoms of ongoing illness, the tears started to flow alas but not for me this time.
The words of bad news, of new loss and the crisis of loved ones unfolding hath opened up old wounds from my own times like these in the past, when I had to travel quickly into a very painful unknown.
I cried some more. Oh how I miss my little brother so! I talked to him in the hospital when he was yet drunk and in the DTs of alcohol withdrawal. Little did I know that he would become unconscious and pass away within 2 days thereafter of alcohol toxicity, multiple organ system failure.
Quickly my late Mother made travel arrangements for my brother and I, with me still shell-shocked from my former husband’s departure and death of my grandmother within 24 hours of each other, just 5 months earlier. Travelling for another funeral out of state and into a lifestyle much different from my own was a culture shock on one level, a new loss to grieve, and a return to the drama of my childhood as well. Oh how I wish I could have re-written it all!
My brother’s Memorial Service was bizarre: held in the bar of a bowling alley with his people, his friends albeit fitting yet inappropriate just the same. I wrote about it three years ago when I thought about the star that now holds the ashes of his once tender heart. Many details are painful to recall here and to do so would be disrespectful to the memory of my now deceased Mother who was grieving in her own unusual manner at the loss of her son. It was a painful experience for all of us to endure back then. Some more sorrow got released tonight as it all came back to me again.
My Intended Beloved had memories of his own to share this evening from the death of his sister, his late brother-in-law, and a distant relative too. We don’t know how the current tragedy will fare as the night draws on into daylight for one weary family holding on, their loved one slipping further and further away from them. Please join me in praying for each precious one. The Lord knows who they are and what they need. I don’t know either but one thing that I do know is this: we do suddenly become connected to our brothers and sisters in Christ, even all in humanity when we tap into the suffering that goes on in life. I do pray the Lord’s supernatural intervention in the situation at hand. Only He can go beyond the layers which we now feel, we now see.
And in this we can all rest, Gentle Reader. For the shortest verse of our Bible reminds us of His humanity too, His sharing and caring in our times of grief. For Jesus wept too. JJ