It's a Mad Mad Mad World NOT!

Two million or more people moved from wandering in the desert for some 40 years to a dedicated process of preparing to realize their mission, their dreams. Virtually every need had been met over 4 decades, every action guided by the God of the universe that led them there, and all transpired with displays of majestic power to encourage them along the way. They were free after years and years of harsh slavery, multiplied fruitfully, and were about to receive all that was promised to them. What more could the children of Israel have wanted? In their own minds, much more. They griped, built golden images to worship, and failed to heed their leaders over and over again. Many were punished and died as a result; many others just followed along while some questioned where was God? Gee, these people would make “good” Americans right now!

We gripe when our needs are not met within tiny frames of time. We worship people, places, and things instead of the Lord our God. We fail to respect the very leaders the Lord ordains for our lives whether it be our pastor or the President of the United States then wonder why we personally don’t feel respected either. We resist the natural consequences of our actions, fight for some lofty goal of social justice that will never fully arrive in this fallen world, and in doing so push ourselves further away from the God of mercy, true justice, grace, love, and peace. It’s a mad, mad, mad world right now. And the more we strive in our own strength, the more we will squelch our lives of the gifts of this unique time in human history. We are at war with an enemy more “unseen” than the (.3) micron coronavirus-19. Our enemy is our very own pride. A pride that separates us from God and each other, more than “social distancing” ever will.

I live in the heartland of the United States where hard work used to pay off. Whether you went to college or worked your way up the ladder of a manufacturing plant, worked in the trades, or built a small business, you could feed your face and that of your family if you just worked hard. No matter what life threw at you, you were going to be o.k. eventually. Eventually I would come to know my own work ethic as a virtue instilled by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave me the skills I would need to navigate life until I found a personal relationship with Him. Thereafter, my strength would not be enough to survive: the tests and trials were too great to overcome them on my own. And by seeking His face, my Lord sustained me, provided for me, grew me into the woman that I am today. Often I don’t feel these gifts of mercy, true justice, grace, love, and peace. More importantly, I know each are there all of the time no matter what else is going on.

I’ve had a rough go of things again lately. The serious illness that I endure has only become more complicated with new thyroid issues, new dental infections that need specialized care. The latter simply cannot be addressed for weeks because of the quarantine recommendations of our government (and governments around the world). There is very little that me and my beloved can do about the need to wait for medical care, even though this type of infection is known to worsen a person’s health. I also need to find a new clinic in our smaller town to provide the infusions that I receive twice per month; they have helped keep me out of the emergency room for over a year. But only essential and emergency care are now provided at virtually all medical facilities that are preparing for the pandemic. I understand these needs. I really don’t know if several hours per day of convulsive episodes qualify for essential and emergency care when no one has figured out how to treat or stop them yet. Specialized dental care twice in the past made a BIG DIFFERENCE, however. What shall we do?

I know that the Lord sees and grieves my suffering. I know that the Lord hears and grieves the suffering of people sick with this new virus and who are afraid of all the effects it has had on our society to date. I know He hears the cries of His children whether we have professed love for Him or not. You know that we are isolated and hurting. We do need you now. We are like your children of Israel wandering in the desert, needing to see the cloud over the tabernacle by day to know that you are near and what to do. With the presence of so much evil, the consequences of living in a fallen world, the events that puzzle us but you mysteriously have ordained, the leaders over us who shun you, and the tearing apart of these once United States of America, WE NEED YOU NOW. Might we catch a glimpse of Your fire, Your glory to help us, to help me carry on this night?

In the meantime Gentle Reader, please do take care of yourself and your loved ones. Here is my prayer for you as you seek the desires of your own heart. I submit to you that you will find everything you want and need in the person of Jesus Christ.

Thank you for being here with me. Godspeed one and all, JJ

From Wondrous Works Shop on Etsy

When He is All You Have

My beloved is the best . . . but he is asleep as I bemoan my sorry lot.

He holds me close . . . until I react to some scent on his manly body.

It should have a wonderful effect . . . but it does not anymore, sadly.

Such are the ravages of severe illness . . . the kind that makes everything hay-wired.

If I could explain it to you . . . then it would be from understanding myself,

And I cannot dear friend . . . so woe are my words, this night, once again.

But not forever, all night, or after a little while . . .

For He speaks into my heart song . . .

And makes all kinda nice.

My Jesus understands for he hung on a wooden cross . . .

With nails in his hands and feet, a spear thrust in his side.

I could never endure imagine that kind of pain, even if my head banged all night . . .

Let’s just say my Lord knows suffering so His tears comfort me alright.

Even if this Doc or that hath not have the medication right for me . . .

My beloved says healing will still come and my own fasting indicates so.

I shall do what I gotta do to manage this chaos . . . even if I never leave the table by the window at the café of the health food store

Because I can’t think straight and seizures are pushing up from within:  unsafe to make my way home until I stabilize.

“Cmon my Jesus, drive me home

It’s dark already and you are all that I have tonight.”

And so He did when He was all I had.

Goodnight again.

JJ

 

 

 

The Night Watch

Psalm, Psalm 42:8, fear at night, comfort at night, God is with me, in the night, joy comes in the morning, getting through the night, blog at nightAnd so the night watch begins

As my beloved tucks himself part way under the covers, the cool air circulates around him and our home.

He looks so peaceful as he collapses into bed,

Having worked the day long and again this evening to make things right with our world.

The pup slumbers on the floor behind me

With her own watchful eye as the big storm rumbles outside in the darkness;

Another night begins and I am hungry

The wretched episode and weathering inside my own body now behind me once again.

It’s a strange life, that is clear:

The promise of new treatments,
my meager attempts to go on . . .

Let me pretend I am doing something worthwhile

When my world stops shaking and I find you here, Gentle Reader, ready to make sense of it all.

Sometimes there is no sense to be made

We simply endure, do our due diligence to survive:

Touching something meaningful when the opportunity comes our way

Then letting it all go to the escape of sleep whether by night or by the dawn cometh soon.

Perhaps this night will bring fruitfulness

Maybe I’ll be able to write something of worth?

There is certainly much to do alone here with you as the keys light up and my mind slowly turns on;

My Lord is here with me so something good, something meaningful might happen yet this evening!

Since I cannot be sure but the time will pass anyways,

I better get something to eat before “dinner” slides into breakfast, hunger into weakness

Then maybe my brain will come back online too.  If this is to be my shift I better get to my assigned duties of late —

If I am to be awake, the most of it I shall make again and again.  Who knows, maybe something good may be too?

Yes, something good may be too.  JJ

When I look up

From my truck I see kayak racks:  looks like it’s time for a road trip South.

From our flagstone patio I see the bluest hue of sky that comes with the chill of this season.

From my jewelry studio comes the reflections of many table lamps bouncing off the walls as I strain to create, to sew, to knot into the night.

From our bed I ponder this life as the hours pass in the dark, in the light since the popcorn ceiling never made any sense when I tried to connect the dots up there anyways.

From lying on the kitchen floor I cover my eyes and cradle my head to minimize the brightness of the nickel light fixture, the damage from the internal unrest tossing me about, and the discomfort from not making it to the bed in time.  The pup sniffing my hair is sweet indeed.

And when I look up from my heart to my mind’s eye I see my Lord who whispers His words of comfort that this strife too shall pass.  He makes all things new don’t you know and this happens whether we can see it, feel it, find it in this fleeting moment of a day.  This is where I must persevere as I never cease to look beyond today to a better tomorrow.  It must come.  It will come!  Oh yes, it does.

Psalm 121 (NIV)

A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

puffy clouds

 

Wide-eyed and bushy tailed: Part 1 of 2

This pup can sleep no matter where she is or what time of day it is.  I’ll bet she is not alone in this.  Most dogs can sleep all day long if they like.  I guess it helps to have 2 layers of eyelids with one covered in heavy fur!  And in my experience, many of the male homo sapiens genre can sleep at will too!  🙂

Squinting early Spring 2014crop

 

Not so for me.  After a rough night, rough afternoon, and low grade episode in the middle of the night it’s as if I have toothpicks holding my eye lids open.  In about an hour my alarm will go off in anticipation of a birthday surprise outing for my beloved husband.  It has been re-scheduled or re-configured six times over the past week with the location, State, and parties involved changing many times due to various extraneous factors.  He only knows about the date changes.  Steve has been a champ through it all!  I kept him guessing with clues and silly gifts.  The changes of date, time, etc. has actually helped keep everything a secret.  I just hope I hold out too!

Sometimes sheer adrenaline gets you through that which you could never do on your own.  I know my Jesus is out front so please:  take the helm!

Seeya later with all of the details and pictures.  I’m headed for a puppy pillow.

:J