The art of waiting

I should probably have gotten this together by now

But I have not. No I haven’t. I do try alright.

I’m just not that good at waiting.

Nearly sick with worry, I got the MRI results that confirmed

The CT scans I’d already had times two this year

But it almost didn’t happen; I’m still not right.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s how to navigate

The healthcare system from the inside and out

This skill has helped some in this scenario.

The more important skill alas is not a skill at all:

The one that rests in the wings of my Father

And simply dwells, dwells, dwells.

Gratefully too, there are many bottles lying around

Such that when a flare results from dining out

I can deal with it within a couple of hours!

This is really hard, Gentle Reader. Some big decisions definitely loom

The horizon goes so many different ways at distances unknown

Testing everything we’ve done to date to get me well.

So just like when my beloved prepares to take to the skies

We’ll pre-flight the treatment and file some kind of plan

With prayer even if it takes all night.

The large bird of prey knows her strengths, she soars

But even she must stop to rebuild, to prepare

For the journey is open-ended alright.

Some labs decline diabetes while others bring suspicion alright

Of a serious disease, the kind that can kill you

If you don’t get it right.

At least the cyst appears compartmentalized and operable

To remove it seems the right thing to me

The scope to come is the first step.

No, I’m not ready to wrote prose yet, my thoughts too fragmented

Just know that I don’t want to die should it be a dreaded cancer

There’s more living to do just like our date last night.

Thank you Steve.

A different kind of Christmas

Perhaps it is a sentiment of many Dayspring and Hallmark greeting cards to define Christmas as “the most wonderful day of the year.”  For a believer in Jesus Christ, the day is one of the most meaningful:  celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior.  But perhaps the most significant holiday is actually celebrated on Easter Sunday as we recall the sacrifice that Christ made in dying on a cross for our sins such that we may have everlasting life.  No sentiments are implied or required:  the truth is that He came to save, the truth is that He is Lord of all!

Isaiah 9:6-7New King James Version (NKJV)

For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.

I can almost hear the victorious singing of Handel’s Messiah in the background as I read these words.  Such is the confidence that we have, the joy we know as believers in Jesus Christ!

Many days when my life is a “nothing burger,” these words are just about all that I have for comfort.  My Christmas and Easter in 2015 were not filled with either the people or activities of a typical Christian holiday.  There were no church services dressed in better finery, homemade treats enjoyed in the basement afterwards with the dearest of friends, or family dinners filled with laughter and much feasting.  The décor around here was the same as it is every day.  I could go on with all that was cut due to the ravages of severe illness but I won’t.  Perhaps you get the idea Gentle Reader?

I spent each of these holidays staring into nothingness for much of it yet also with nothing to distract me from seeking the face of my Lord.  My prayerful meditation was uninterrupted and peaceful.  Warm, loving glances came from my beloved Steve whose presence is one of the greatest gifts I could ever ask for in my life.  Even our furry friend Elle is always a special delight with the gentlest of brown eyes, the softest of fur coats.  I did get somewhat of a break during the middle of the day on Christmas in which we connected with family via Skype and the phone, MacGyvered a tasty meal of sorts, and opened some sweet gifts for our eighth Christmas together as husband-and-wife.  Yeah God for special moments like these!

In two days we will continue and conclude as many of these traditions as we can in a gathering with my husbands adult children and their spouses.  They graciously will attend to the mold/fragrance-avoidance practices needed for me to host them in our home.  Since it may be my only time to see them when they are in town from their respective States and countries, I do pray that I may be able to participate in every moment available.  They are wonderful young adults and I do love them so!  I have simplified our menu and Steve has begun the preparations.  We have spent extra time finding special gifts that would be meaningful; one of them may even serve temporarily as a different kind of “Christmas tree!”  We’ll see.  I still have to pull that one together!  Eeeek!

So if you too have changed things up a bit for this Christmas season, know that you are not alone.  I understand completely.  It’s o.k.!  This holiday along with Easter in the Spring have nothing to do with Santa and the white bunny carrying chocolate eggs.  These special days have everything to do with a decision we each make in our hearts about Who we will serve as Lord over our lives.  Where have you placed your trust dear friends?  With a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we will have a celebration that will never be limited to a date on the calendar.

Charlie Brown Christmas
Nothing beats a Charlie Brown Christmas message:

And with that decision made to follow Christ, every day will be a different kind of adventure that transcends the moment into all of eternity.  Yeah, I’m on board for that one.  Will you be along too?  JJ