My husband, Steve, cracks me up sometimes . . .
Today while resting, he pulled a fast one on me. Like, hey, I’m recovering from something serious and you are asking me whaaaaat? Excuse me but the 5 minutes of serious laughter that followed erased my memory for exactly what we were even talking about! What I do remember went something like this:
I was talking about something medical, perhaps a new treatment approach I was considering and his surprising remarks this afternoon to maybe pursue it. He was interested in a Functional Medicine clinic up in Michigan and was quickly getting to the heart of the matter with a rather terse question:
“Was that Dr. Shoe or Dr. Butt you are talking about?”
You have no idea how funny this is! Allow me to explain: Dr. Shoemaker is a famous mold illness expert (author of Surviving Mold & other publications). Dr. Shultz is a famous colon health/cleansing guru from American Botanical Pharmacy in California. I have had the experience of doing 5-day juice fasts with a variety of tinctures and Intestinal Formulas (i.e. ones that make you GO) but that was before I met Steve. My former spouse would tease me mercilessly when Dr. Schultz product catalogs came in the mail, often with a hearty picture of gut anatomy on the cover. He called Dr. Shultz the “Poop Doctor” or something like that.
I have not done a juice fast/colon cleansing protocol in the past 7 years nor since meeting Steve. He must have seen one of Dr. Shultz’s catalogs before I whisked it away to the recycling bin! Oh dear! The shoe and butt doctors have made their way into my genteel world of late for reasons whose details I’ll skip for the sake of grossness . . .
Gee, I wonder what will be the next zinger? Stay tuned. I’m not over this wacky derailment of health quite yet so there’s gotta be something else on the horizon. And Steve will remember it when I least expect it to lighten things up, I’m sure of it! He has a wild manner of remembering things dontcha know!
Have a good week, Gentle Readers. Gotta run, :J
Lymie Pick Up Lines
March 9, 2013 — lymediseasewarrior
My recent posts weren’t as happy-go-lucky, so I decided to dedicate this post to humor–Lymie humor!
The following list are Lymie pick-up lines!
- Hey, girl! What’s your name?. . .Wait, what was it again?. . . Can you repeat that?
- You and me, we click–like my knees and hip.
- Hey girl! Can I have your number?. . . Can I have your number?. . . Can I have your number?
- I hope you know CPR because you literally took my breath away. . .
- You’re like a lighthouse, you shine through the brain fog!
- Can I have your number? I can’t remember mine.
- I can’t remember what this key goes to. . . . maybe it’s the key to your heart?
- What’s your favorite color? That’s amazing! That’s the color of spots I’m seeing today!
- Are you a PICC line? ‘Cause you’ve got a direct line to my heart!
- Am I hallucinating, or are you really that beautiful?
- Want to grab a sugar-, gluten-, and carb-free bite to eat?
- You’re like a feeding tube–I just can’t live without you!
- Your eyes are so bright they give me a migraine.
- My hand is heavy. Can you hold it?
- Let’s hang out this weekend–in the IV lounge!
- You’re so pretty you make my head spin!
- You’re so sweet I’m getting a sugar high.
- Your sweet perfume is intoxicating.
- I guess the doctors were right–I am crazy. Crazy about you!
- My heart tick-ticks for you, girl!
- You hear that? That’s the sound of my heart racing because you’re near me.
- Woah, woah–stand back. You’re making my heart beat irregularly.
- Hey, girl! You’re so beautiful you’re like that. . . thing . . that—wait, what is it? Umm. . . It’s red and it’s a flower. . .
- My disability benefits are nothing compared to the benefit of knowing you!
- I’m glad I dropped out of school, now I have more time for you!
- Hey, girl! I’ve been trying to think of a pick-up line for you, but your presence makes my mind go blank.
NOTE FROM JULIE AT JUST JULIE WRITES: Don’t worry about me using these lines anytime soon on anyone but my Stevers! :J
James 1 reminds me:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
These words have guided me for years during many trials by fire and extreme life makeovers! As I have said many times this past week: “If I did not have my faith in Jesus Christ, I’d be lost.”
Wow. That is a testimony of sorts I guess. I give the Lord credit for the presence of mind to utter those words after seizure attacks during various health appointments and when communicating with non-believers on Lyme-specific Facebook pages. I said it because it is true.
To God be the glory for the things He hath done in my life, for the good that may come. I’m going to hang in there for, as Paul Harvey put it, “the rest of the story.” Or better yet as the apostle Paul wrote when bound in chains in his letter to the Philippians:
6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1).
Now that’s a promise for which to hang in there, eh? Turn to Jesus and He will carry you too!