When I look up

From my truck I see kayak racks:  looks like it’s time for a road trip South.

From our flagstone patio I see the bluest hue of sky that comes with the chill of this season.

From my jewelry studio comes the reflections of many table lamps bouncing off the walls as I strain to create, to sew, to knot into the night.

From our bed I ponder this life as the hours pass in the dark, in the light since the popcorn ceiling never made any sense when I tried to connect the dots up there anyways.

From lying on the kitchen floor I cover my eyes and cradle my head to minimize the brightness of the nickel light fixture, the damage from the internal unrest tossing me about, and the discomfort from not making it to the bed in time.  The pup sniffing my hair is sweet indeed.

And when I look up from my heart to my mind’s eye I see my Lord who whispers His words of comfort that this strife too shall pass.  He makes all things new don’t you know and this happens whether we can see it, feel it, find it in this fleeting moment of a day.  This is where I must persevere as I never cease to look beyond today to a better tomorrow.  It must come.  It will come!  Oh yes, it does.

Psalm 121 (NIV)

A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

puffy clouds

 

Request for Personal Assistance

Dear Gentle Readers:

I am most blessed to be in touch with you through this wonderful world of blogging.  Today I am asking for your help!

Last week I started some baby steps in a new treatment protocol (called a Pretox Treatment Protocol) for mercury toxicity.  The program is based upon the brilliant  work of Dr. Chris Shade and Quicksilver Scientific.  I am exceedingly grateful that my family doctor attended a conference where Dr. Chris Shade had presented on mercury toxicity.  Dr. Shade developed mercury speciation testing and specific treatment regimes to open elimination pathways in the body of inorganic- and methyl-mercury.  I completed several lab tests including their  Tri-Mercury test and their Blood Metals Test is now in process.  After suffering nearly 3 hellish years with daily seizure attacks and numerous failed approaches, we finally have hope for complete recovery.

The only problem is that I am having difficulty tolerating the Pretox Treatment Protocol!  No surprise there:  I react to everything these days.  So here is my request:

Would you kindly contact Quicksilver Scientific and ask for a special consultation for me with Dr. Chris Shade?  The company is exceedingly busy with expansion and Dr. Shade’s speaking schedule so a little extra noise might be helpful.  Here’s the link to their website and where you can leave a message with my name and email address ( be sure to convert to an email address the following with numbers instead of words and “yahoo.com”:  psalmthree4eightonezero@yahoodotcom):

http://www.quicksilverscientific.com/about/contact-us

I made this video for Dr. Shade to illustrate exactly what mercury poisoning has brought into our lives over here and my dilemma:

My husband Steve and I are hopeful that I am going to get well!  We are exceedingly grateful for prayers and support of everyone and look forward to the day when we can celebrate together all that the Lord has done in this season of our lives.  He is good.  All the time.  He is good!

Thank you for your consideration.

Take care,

Just Julie

And then I got up

It was the most horrific of reactions:  writhing and such.

Even our pup could not make guttural sounds like me in my muck.

Earlier I sensed a reaction soon was a’comin’ . . .

And lo on the way home the tics started showin.’

So we showered once home, throwing our clothes in the wash

In case you think romance followed I’ll tell ya that was ‘nash —

Not the way it came down I say as I leaped into bed

Barely dried off and with a wet towel flung from my head.

An hour many would not survive followed me in there

I marveled as my lungs, heart, and mind would again persevere.

My beloved raised me in his arms to feed me some water

Then with more wimpers and smaller jolts he sensed the cause of the matter:

An older building, became soiled with everything one could imagine

‘Twas cosmetically upgraded with bright lights and smiles on everyone.

It was hard to tell during a visit as important as this

That there would be hell to pay later for pursuing a visit.

But that’s the way it goes when your brother finally gets the care he needs

In a 4-star nursing home upgraded from one he survived where they could subtract at least 3.

We chatted, we laughed and the pupster Elle provided all the charm

The rekindling of family love, fulfilled with treats from my oven still warm.

Then came the gift from my bro when Mike let me play O.T.

And minister to his contracted frame, providing hope to both him and me.

My skills were still there and his muscle memory someday could return

Lord willing we shall see His purpose and be grateful for this wild ‘journ.

So how can I complain that some new treatment of my own did not hold

When I just started 2 days ago then walked into a fiery test a bit too bold.

‘Cause long after the last jolt, the last choreathetoid seize

I was able to get up and make myself something to eat.

Now sitting here listening to my slumbering beloved who works in the ‘morn

I am grateful for so much although tonight so much is yet unknown.

“When will this crap end?” I ask myself and the darkened night air

“In just a little while,” responds the Lover of my soul Who holds my life in His care.

So even in this I will trust in the God Who has promised

That all things will be good.  Get back to bed.  Good golly it’s almost (morning)!

JJ

Mike and Julie at Medilodge in Michigan
Mike and Julie at Medilodge in Michigan

 

Numb but Hopeful

I love Patrick Klein’s words from the Vision Beyond Borders newsletter this week:

Psalm 143:10-12 says, “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.” Doing God’s will does not come naturally; our natural tendency is to satisfy our fleshly and worldly desires. We must be taught and transformed by God to do His will. When His Spirit leads us, it is on level ground. He alone can make crooked paths straight. Our duty is to remember that what we do is for His name’s sake. It is not about us. He alone can best determine how He desires for us to bring glory to His name. It is not for us to determine. Despite hardships, trials or persecution that may be allowed in our lives, God can preserve us and bring us out of our trouble. 

Our only responsibility in all of this is to simply remember our role. We are to be servants of Christ. Often we grow weary because we are trying to do His part. We are trying to figure out where He is taking us rather than allowing Him to lead us. We are trying to figure out how to preserve our lives and bring ourselves out of trouble rather than allowing Him to bring us out. We are trying to silence our enemies and destroy our foes when that is not our work. We are not made for those things, and it is exhausting. Our duty is simply to look to God and serve Him, allowing Him to do these things for His servants! We don’t have to strive, we simply have to come to Him. His yoke is easy and His burden is light; we will find rest for our souls. May we faithfully seek Him, serve Him and remain completely in Him, trusting Him to show us each step! 

Thank you Patrick.  Last night I started using yet another binding agent (Zeolite) to try to encapsulate and detox mercury from my weakened frame.  Afterwards I felt very weird!  We were Skyping with my husband’s daughter in Thailand and it was all I could do to chat a bit, smile a bit, and keep my shoulders from hiking up to my ears!  The nightly seizure attack episode was significantly shorter and I fell asleep at a more reasonable time, around 1:30 a.m.  Hell was waiting for me this morning and returned with more violence a couple of hours later.  Can you say “mad as a hatter?”  Well if you were a hatmaker in the 19th century you might be more familiar with mercury poisoning than the current medical profession.   So let’s see if we can figure this one out, eh?

#1  Trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

#2  Follow the clues and think about how chelation works for mercury and heavy metals.  Most protocols require regular treatments for a given interval of time, sometimes as often as every 4 hours.  (See the Cutler protocol.)  The rebound occurred about 12 hours after the first dose of a true chelating agent.

#3  Consider a repeat, low level dose at regular intervals to bind and remove the newly circulating toxins.

#4  Relief came within minutes when the detox agent was consumed with lots of water.

And after resting, eating, sitting out in the lovely Fall sunshine, I am upright.  This is good.  I am also extraordinarily humbled by some incredible blessings this week and will end with four to match the points enumerated above:

#1  Unfailing love in the eyes of my intended beloved, Steve.  When I am in his arms no matter what the circumstances, I feel the love, care, and compassion of my Heavenly Husband too.  Thank you Jesus for Steve.  Please love and bless Him.  Cover our marriage with your grace.  May others see a good work in all of this for your glory Lord.

#2  Treatment options that provide some relief.  I believe that the pattern of suffering is about to change for the better and we are exceedingly grateful.

#3  Wisdom that ultimately comes from the Lord.  I have learned so much these past 3 years and have received blessings, gained new skills, met new people, cleared out some excess baggage, and found a voice that I pray will glorify you here.

#4  Hope.  No matter what the burden may be (and we both need not look far to see horrific burdens that our brothers and sisters in Christ must bear for their belief in Him), He will prevail.  As a new friend, Karan Gleddie, brought to light this week we are to “set (our) minds on things above, not on earthly things.”  (Col. 3:2)  Therein we too will find our hope, our peace, our happiness.  And as Patrick reminded me, we are to serve with the strength of Christ for His namesake.  With our eyes on Christ all things are possible.

Gentle Reader, how may I pray for you today?

Colossians 3:2
Colossians 3:2

 

High CBD Hemp Oil and Me

So we had a great go of it, HCBDHO and me.

This past winter I gave it a try for about 3 months after discovering some research linking reduced seizures to consumption of a particular type of cannabis oil.  When I found out that there is an industrial hemp oil with only trace amounts of THC and that it would be legal for me to purchase it in my State, I purchased a bottle online.  I worked with the manufacturer and a couple of Facebook groups on dosing.  My initial results were very encouraging!

Within 2 weeks I required increased drops of HCBDHO to receive the same benefit.  This fit the profile of many other users of the product.  Some required nearly 1/2 bottle to stop their seizures even if a child was taking it.  There are lots of details here so I refer the Gentle Reader to previous posts by searching CBD oil on this site.  In general as time wore on, the benefits diminished no matter what the dosing.  Also in time I started having  bad dreams then bizarre nightmares.  The nightmares frightened me.  I could  not figure out why they were happening!  Then I read that some folks are sensitive to even trace amounts of THC:  the compound in cannabis oil that creates a high when taken in products that have a higher percentage of this cannabinoid.  Well I wasn’t having a good time at all!

Eventually I stopped taking HCBDHO altogether.  Now that I am sensitized to it, I do not intend to take it again.  The risk of altered thought processes in my precious sleep (that I desperately need to recover from these wretched daily seizure attack episodes) overrides the small improvements that remained after 3 months.  The benefits did not outweigh the risks.  I am majorly bummed that it did not work for me.  Nothing has worked for me.  No combination of things have worked for me.  I cannot tolerate treatment that works for others without ramping up to violent convulsions.  Detoxing is impossible without noxious, severe side effects.  Talk about being boxed into a dark corner without a flashlight.  Will hope ever shine through again?

Sure it will.  Lately I’m experimenting with magnesium threonate and may try a particular brand of Tahitian Noni Juice.   The latter helped Kurt and Lee Ann Billings, the authors of Mold:  The War Within, who did not do the typical protocols of cholestyramine, activated charcoal or benonite clay to get well.  Yup, all of those three caused me noxious, severe side effects as well.  Sish.  I am very glad that there are new things to try despite the dead ends of my medical team at the moment.  Thank you Lord that you are always my hope with or without Tahitian Noni:  my forever guiding light Who uses the hardships for Your glory . . .

So for those of you considering using high CBD hemp oil (from industrial hemp) or other cannabis products (from hemp classified as medical marijuana), I encourage you to learn all you can at informational sites such as the following Scientific Review of the research literature:    You are also invited to “Like” my facebook page which contains all of the pertinent research that I did when making my decision to try HCBDHO.  The articles include the legality of industrial hemp products and the difference between them and medical marijuana.  Here’s a link to get you started:  Seizure Free Zone on Facebook

May the Lord bless you on your journey too, JJ

Benefits of Hemp Pic