Look into my eyes

In my very early contacts with who would become my Intended Beloved, I realized that I had not seen any close-up pictures of him.  We had met online after Steve had found me in the database of the dating website   Yahoo Personals.  He certainly spoke and wrote like a God-fearing man yet I could not yet see it in his eyes!  “Could you send me a picture that includes a look into your eyes closer-up?”  I asked.  Here is one that he sent me.

steve-self 005-small

I was tickled that he took the time (long before the convenience of smart phones, by the way) to set up his tripod, take and upload the photos, then send them to me via email!  Wow.  He must have liked my profile photo a bit more than I thought already?


Flash forward less than a year and the look we have as we gaze at each other at our wedding probably tells its own story . . .


How could I possibly know that this gaze would only deepen, soften, and grow to a bond impervious to the tempestuous trials that came our way four years later?  Only the Lord knew what was ahead of us.  Only the Lord and the workings of the Holy Spirit could move this love to such a tender place built to last.

Funny thing is that I do not have a recent picture to show you what I mean.   We just haven’t been able to go out as much to make memories worthy of recording.  A photo taken on our recent anniversary may show a bit of weariness for me.  Yet if you look closely, that’s a mighty strong arm holding me closely to his side.  The joy on Steve’s face is unmistakable.  That’s an arm of protection, of leadership, of devotion like no other wrapped tightly around me on a cool wintry night.

Crop of 8th Anniversary

I am so very grateful to see the eyes of Christ in my precious Steve.  Like my Lord Jesus, Steve is even more wonderful than the day I met him.  His love has transformed my heart for sure.

Ever look into the eyes of someone like that, Gentle Reader?  Was it long ago?  Oh I hope that if it has not yet happened then it will someday soon!  When it does I hope that you will tell the world about it.  Maybe with a song like this one, in celebration of the eyes of love tonight:

robin hood
A hero always fights for his bride

Breakfast of Champions

Keeping it real today:  it was the best breakfast I’d had in a long time.  Held me over for hours.  Can you believe it?

The ingredients were:  gluten-free oats, coconut/almond milk, ghee butter, lactose-free whey powder, 2 walnuts, and bacon!  Gee I often wonder if I need a ketogenic diet (KD) since I feel so much better after eating ghee butter and red palm oil spread by the tablespoonsful!  I’d like to try the KD when I can find the medical professionals I’d need to calculate ketones and monitor cholesterol levels in this middle-aged frame.  Otherwise it’s probably not a good idea long-term.  Until then, just please pass the avocado oil for my coconut cream and blueberry smoothie!

The “champion” this morning was not me, however.  My beloved Stevers was my hero as I was unable to move without eliciting seizure attacks in bed.  So he fed me.  Spoonful by spoonful of rich bliss came to me with breaks in between bites to catch my breath.  I was so depleted from another hellish night dontcha know that I needed to rest often.  And then I revived enough to take myself to the bathroom and return to bed for more sleep.  A brief noxious episode ensued, an indeterminate amount of sleep, and waking convulsions on the other side.  Holy cow!

My other hero today who kept me company when I awoke sometime in the afternoon was our pup, Elle.  She often watches over me these days, sleeping within view of the bed.  Next to Jesus Christ, I love having a friend nearby with fur-on.  That is true only if my friend with skin-on has to go to work!  My beloved got there 2 hours later today for having taken care of me this morning.  I am so grateful for his care and hope his boss understands . . .

The afternoon was slow-going as I progressed from being beat-up to stable.  I recovered quickly from a brief afternoon replay of this morning.  I am glad that thereafter I was able to finish the Fall clean-up for Winter and gather some anise hyssop seeds for a friend before lopping off the last of the spent garden beauties.  Then I plopped myself down in front of the computer for a few hours and was able to do nothing else.  My sewing project 2 feet behind me, due in 2 weeks, will wait once again.  Such is life in the preparatory stages of mercury chelation.  Working on kidney detox to aid the chelation pathway for inorganic mercury.  Hmmm.  Sure hope I clear before Thanksgiving . . . sure would like to travel to see some friends and family . . .

My heart is heavy with all of this.  Knowing my brother may be stuck in a nursing home for more months is a burden too.  His Social Security Disability Income will likely take awhile to be awarded even though the left side of his body remains quite debilitated from the stroke in April.  I am glad that he was able to go “home” with his fiancé for a few hours yesterday:  the first time since this all happened.  Finally!  Sish.  The occupational therapist in me has been frustrated more than once by the whole ordeal.  Therapy is on hold again for Mike due to Medicaid paperwork delays.  So life in a better nursing home is where he will be indefinitely.  Kinda sad, really.

In case this is sounding like a pity party I will end it right here.  Just keeping it real.  I still have that joy in my heart that I wrote about this past weekend.  I still have hope that I will be restored to health and probably land in an even better place a couple of years from now when the mercury chelation process has succeeded.  I still am grateful for so many blessings that were never in my life even one year ago.  I have a plan for recovery!  I still look forward to the simple pleasures that make life so sweet.  Ah yes, here comes our German shepherd wagging her tail from having played with my hubby in the front yard since arriving home from work.

It’s late.  It’s time for the dinner of champions, Steve and me.  And it’s a good thing I saved a little bacon for us too.  I mean who doesn’t love bacon?  JJ