Knees to the Grass

Humble yourself before the Lord and He will meet you there every time.

Having just whacked my shoulder with the handle of a rake, the pain seared deeply from my flesh to my soul. It is now bruised.

So cried, I did: weeping that lasted a long time. So much sorrow in my broken heart of late.

How can I go on with so many hours spent lying in bed? Seizing the last grips of life until my breathing starts again? Plans reduced then cancelled to much, much less?

The window to the neighbors’ bedroom was not far away out there in the darkness of night and my own beloved worked 2 rooms away beyond the double-paned windows

Oh how long must this sad song go on: the one that mixes grief from the death of loved ones with the pain of suffering so?

My Lord, you bestow so much goodness yet this night my heart aches for the dearth in my broken frame.

Just let it all out Gentle Julie. Your heart needs a good cleansing at the foot of my cross. For I hung there for all your sorrows with my blood dripping for your tears.

There will come a day when I will restore all that has gone before you.

There’s a period at the end of that sentence beloved one and this one too.

My love shall forever surround you, my spirit dwell within you, my angels minister for your care.

Keep seeking my face and you will find me there with you every time. I love you more than you can ever know. Just try to keep seeking and I will lead you home.

And so I shall. Oh how I long to go home! Yet weakly I shall go on . . . JJ

What could be the cause?

For how many things can you test, research, treat, and repeat

Before you get to your end with hands empty again and again?

Like a parasite sucking the life out of you while it hides in waiting

Adding to your pain, lighting the match of your symptoms once and again.

Don’t expect the ones paid to know to really know anything at all my dear,

Outside of their textbooks even if they read them, even if they look at you at all.

Because if you don’t fit the pattern you really may have no where you can go

And temptation will come to do things only animals might do to get by.

Sounds sick but there is someone out there who understands this bad rap

And sits with you facing that brick wall with pieces of dreams that no longer fit.

You can’t make this stuff up yet this is your reality.  How cruel it really is.

………….

The One who really knows

Has that name you cannot forget

He hung in front of scoffers

Hands nailed, sharp spear in His side.

He chose to hang from that cross

To bear the consequence of this world

The effects of evil you endure

That just wasn’t supposed to be.

He still weeps for your pain

Knows it all very well

Stays near, hear Him speak

Words of comfort if you but dwell.

Never let Him go little broken one

It will help you endure

One day all will be well

That promise is ’cause He loves . . .

And on that you can rest.

Yes, it is now time to go to bed.

………….

Don’t fear the seizures that may come

They have made you braver than anyone

Who else could face the tempest each night

Yet rest in his den without trust in something more?

How ever have you come this far

When so many would have died two thousand times

If you were not given supernatural strength

He has ordained for the days to come?

Only your Lord knows the day and time

When all will be made well, be made right

Until then you hang in there my precious child

I love you and will rock those shakes in my loving arms.

Think on that when the tears surely come

Knowing all are held in my two hands

I count them, bring them my righteousness

In a way only I now understand.

You must trust me albeit a bit blind

Have I not restored from the locusts before?

Have I not given you the love of your life

The dreams of your heart in your home?

So with confidence that comes from Me

Go forth into the night as it becomes day

Knowing My time is not of this world

And your gifts don’t come wrapped as for others.

You will be rewarded for trials

I have promised and this you know

Just trust in your Lord, Jesus Christ

For His love, His goodness will be evermore.

…………

And so I did.  My title was the wrong question.  My answer is Jesus Christ.

JJ

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