Just another day

Today was much of the same:

Back to bed after hitting the wall, so to speak.

Hours later I cleared

And a phone call to my beloved at work

Got me in motion to do the tasks at hand.

The story doesn’t vary much . . .

Maybe an outing to test the waters may come

Only to push me back a few days and then

I wonder if I have really come forward much at all.

But “it takes what it takes” sometimes;

The good, the bad, the ugly like an old western:

I know the patterns at least so I cry less

Resting comes more easily as does opting out

‘Cause life is more about the meaning than the doing anyhow.

The last sentence in this prose

Must point beyond my tale of woe

For when a beloved friend faced losing a family member so dear,

I realized the blessings that abound in my life even so

Even so I will go on and things will get better of this I am sure.

It doesn’t have to be today you know!

There’s popcorn in the bed

Travelling can be both exhilarating and hazardous to one’s health all the same time.  Was it Mark Twain who said that life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all?  Yeah, he would be right at home in our house or rather our travel trailer!

And so I remain grateful for so much as Steve and I continue to navigate very odd circumstances while on the road. We have now passed the halfway mark in an Indiana, Alabama, Florida, and North Carolina road trip that has provided much material for future blogging already!  This stuff ain’t for wimps and we have proven to be mighty in the Lord.  Here’s a peek:

This morning I awakened at 11:30 a.m. delighted to have slept in after a wretched night.  Steve was arriving home to the tin can ranch after the closing meeting of his United States Canoe Association (USCA) annual meeting.  He was energized beyond his lack of sleep, ready to hit the big water off the coast of Florida.  A few bites of ham was all he needed:  the outrigger canoe strapped to the roof of my truck for the past 1000 miles would see water at last!

A blast of seizures delayed my plans for breakfast as Steve assisted me with a bite to eat and trip to the bathroom. Then he found a deer tick on his back!  We had hoped that the dangerous hitch-hiker was a loner but that was not to be.  Within an hour we had found about a dozen on his clothing and the floor around the camper entry.  Quickly we searched and cleaned, flashlights in hand until every inch of Steve, the dog, and our home away from home was cleared.  [Some parts of the search weren’t too bad!  ;)]  At last I collapsed again, this time into a pile of tears:  why does everything have to be so difficult all of the time?

Steve is a saint, this is true.  He quickly switched gears (and clothing!) for the paddling adventure that awaited him at Amelia Island State Park with a fellow paddler in from Arkansas.  I sent along two bars of chocolate from our hometown chocolatier to thank him for waiting for Steve plus Steve’s lunch that I had quickly assembled.  At last I could ravenously consume my makeshift breakfast of thawed lunch meat, canned green beans, ghee butter, and pumpkin seeds:  low oxalate on-the-road dontcha know!  Steve soon departed after pumping up the tires of my bike for me:  a tag-a-long I’d added in hopes of riding here in the warmer weather . . .

But I was just too tired to do anything but eat and check Facebook after my beloved departed.  Oh how I longed to be with him!  Someday soon we will again bring the tandem outrigger canoe (OC-2)  on such trips so I may join my River Bear on the water.  Yes, Lord:  maybe this year?  Instead Don and Steve will take turns paddling the OC-1 and have a blast surfing the ama (which is the float attached by two poles or iakos off to one side) and waves like true racers.  Meanwhile I grabbed the remainder of my bag of organic popcorn and prepared to return to my own version of life these days in my pretty bed.  And in due time, I did revive.

It’s raining now as this blog comes to a close.  My bike is at the ready, leaning against my inner left leg, with my beloved pup feigning off sleep on the floor just beyond my outer left leg.  O.K. so we are now also initiated to winter camping with way too many toys!  Funny how I don’t regret hardly anything about how we crafted this trip.  Most of the delegates stayed at the hotel where the USCA meeting was held and that certainly would have been more convenient than the RV park we ended up at which was a 25 minute drive north in Georgia.  The air was stale to me at the Hampton Inn with the stale scent of air freshener in the lobby.  Here amidst the palms we have fresh air ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT LONG!  I like that!  The rain dries up quickly anyways in the reddish soil sprinkled with pine needles.  We will avoid the tick path my hubby took with the dog this morning, no problemmo.  Here I can even see a few stars at night peeking through the overhead vents we keep open at night.  That’s refreshingly cool and very romantic too!

I could be at home right now in the frigid Midwest, writing my heart out amidst the foot of snow around our home and subzero temperatures.  This is better.  This is good.  This is what living a life of adventure is all about.  Why wait for a “rainy day” when everything will never be perfect enough to do the things which call one forward TODAY.  This IS that rainy day.  And hey, the rain just stopped!  I do believe I have carb-loaded adequately too!  Where is my bike helmet anyways?

Seeya pup.  Ima hittin’ my own road ya all . . .

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Moments of happiness

If there is one thing that enduring a serious illness has taught me it is this:  to live in the moment is Divine!

The moment is all we really have anyways right?  I mean can you re-live the fabulous breakfast you had 6 hours ago or borrow the great night of sleep you might have in 4 more hours right now?  Nope.  While I do value reflecting on the past and hoping for events in the future, I try to LIVE in the moment.  This translates into a lovely collection of coping and being behaviors that keep me sane these days.  Let’s take 10:51 p.m. EST on Sunday, for example.

Steve and I had a really nice time visiting with his son, Daniel, and his girlfriend Elizabeth.  We enjoyed their happiness, love for each other, and sharing of their plans for the future.  Our time together went quickly and I thought little of my discomforts.  Looking ahead, I foresee many good things for them with the blessing of the Lord on their lives together.  Living in the moment, I refused to consider what it would be like, should they get married, trying to navigate various family activities whilst sick on my unpredictable schedule.  Living in the moment whilst lying in bed with seizures right before they arrived, I refused to spend energy trying to figure out what I would say should I not make it to the living room to see them.  The attacks stopped just after they walked in the door.  The worry would have been wasted if I had spent any energy there.  I praise the Lord for helping me in those tenuous moments.  I praise the Lord for our moments of happiness this evening.

Steve and I are looking forward to several family Christmas activities in the next few days, including a church service in the water-damaged building that is our church home.  This will require me to wear a carbon filter mask as soon as I walk in the door and wait to remove it until I enter the shower at home.  This will require both Steve and I to remove our outer clothing and coats when we get home and toss it all in the dryer as soon as we walk in the door.  This will require an awkward conversation with Daniel and Elizabeth about our mold decontamination procedures should they come back to our house later that evening.  So right now, instead of ruminating about all of this, I am choosing to spend my energy looking forward to worshipping in our church home for the Christmas Eve candlelight service.  It will be my first time with Steve there in over 6 months . . .

Moments of true happiness come easily sometimes and other times they require arduous, copious amounts of work.  All I can say is that in this one moment in time, now 11:04 p.m., I am grateful for a few happy moments today.  This is new for me.  Perhaps I am starting to live again?  Yes.  That makes me happy, happy, happy.

Snoopy dancing

Lost in Space

Lost in SpaceToday was a better day.  I almost don’t know what to do with myself!  I slept a total of 13 hours:  slowly moving through the motions of self care then made my way to the kitchen.  Five hours later I emerged having made dinner, homemade granola, no-bake cookies, bone broth, and roasted parsnips.  What the heck happened?

Who knows?  Maybe I don’t need to know.  I still had some rough moments this morning with feelings of sickness on and off.  But this is the first evening in many weeks when I have not had a major seizure attack episode for 1-3 hours before midnight.  Thank you Lord!

Tomorrow will be filled with appointments outside our home and we’ll see how that goes.  I kinda think that reducing my stress level was the right thing to do today, letting my energy level dictate what I would do rather than my calendar.  So as I go to bed I am massively humbled and a little lost.  Gee.  A better day happened to me!

Tee hee!  Goodnight all.  JJ