You just don’t know what you don’t know

I’ve got 2! How about you? Ugh.

When I was ruminating about how to manage some new symptoms, I stumbled upon the benefits of unsweetened bitter herbs in balancing blood sugars. This discovery has helped manage some wild fluctuations but it is not a fail-proof strategy. I still bottomed out yesterday with seizure attacks at the kitchen table about an hour after following this new sequence. My beloved had to feed me while I shook, leaning precariously on our glass dining room table. It hurt. This situation is still hell.

It’s clearer more now than ever before that the swinging of my blood glucose levels is contributing to seizure attack episodes and the difficulty managing both of them. The endoscopy ultrasound (EUS) this past week found a particular type of pancreatic cyst, pre-cancerous but one in which surgery is not currently recommended. So while I grasp the magnitude of what a 6-month surveillance program looks like for the potentially deadliest of cancers, I am dealing with yet another new diagnosis: pre-diabetes. Say what? Tis much to bear right now.

I’ve spent most of my adult life managing “borderline hypoglycemia” with diet. This means no concentrated sweets, higher fiber foods, protein-rich snacks between meals and only low-sugar fruits with the baseline concerns of dairy-free, gluten-free, low-medium oxalate, largely organic/non-GMO, and lower in the categories of red meat and night shades. Whew. It’s a miracle that I have found anything to eat at all! Or that I have not gained a ton of weight when battling serious illness these past 8 years. Food is fuel and there are now more specialized products on the market from which to choose. Thank you Lord! “They say” that hypoglycemia can turn into diabetes sometime in a person’s life. I also understand that pre-D can be reversible with lifestyle changes. O.k., so let’s go for that option.

Still I have come to the end of my ability to figure out what to do now. The Docs say that the pancreatic cyst, even though it’s in the organ that manages blood sugar for the body via insulin and glucagon, has little to do with blood sugar difficulties per se. Full blown diabetes is associated with a greater risk of cancer when you have a pancreatic cyst. What about pre-diabetes? “I can refer you to a dietitian if you like,” said the Nurse Practitioner in the gastroenterology oncology department. Why sure! What else have you got that I haven’t tried already folks? Exogenous ketone supplements without the sweeteners? I’m on it, however even the ketogenic diet under the direction of a hospital dietitian didn’t help me two years ago. Too much fat these days triggers belly pain anyways. Tough challenge for sure. Referral is now pending.

Call me cynical because I am. I am in shock. Thankfully there are Facebook and online support systems, even apps for these diagnoses so I will avail myself to them. The isolation of being home alone dealing with all of this is crushing however. I tried leaving the house the day before the EUS procedure to get some errands done and came home really messed up. I always carry a lunch bag of special foods and water with me when I leave the house. And now it’s just not enough. I’ve reached out to my Doctors at Mayo Clinic to see if there is more expertise out there on these matters, particularly in connection to the seizure-like episodes. I cannot get into see an endocrinologist locally until JANUARY!

I just don’t know what I don’t know right now. Are you working Your plans somehow through all of this my precious Lord? Help me Lord! JJ

P.S. My new favorite snack is Hippeas Himalayan Happiness

HIPPEAS Organic Chickpea Puffs + Himalayan Happiness | 4 oz, 6Count | Vegan, Gluten-Free, Crunchy, Protein Snacks

Just Breathe

The stress is crushing

Into my chest, my frame in flare

Old issues still wanting to be a friend

Screaming with the new ones, a symphony of suffering.

The stuff of life

Crowds every moment and then

The smart phone dies and hours are sucked up

In this Verizon store, that kiosk, then hours with online tech support.

My checkbook sighs

From neglect then a balancing act

Or nightmare as the expenses of preparation

Smell poorly like the “unscented” shampoo at the dog groomer!

Alas I confess

I have been here before:

A medical trip on the horizon

Brings hope but making it so: invites a nightmare.

For how does one prepare

With a brain on fire and infections too

Each vying for attention in the hours that remain

Before departing to the fabulous Mayo Clinic very soon?

Just breathe little one

The one inside that is afraid

Come to my rest my Jesus calls to my heart

Lay here your worries, your burdens; the time remaining is mine.

How fitting after Valentine’s

When I barely got to see my amazing love

That the Author of love would also come to my rescue

And all I have had to do is let go: let Him add the increase for the rest.

The rest. Hear that!

For the opening of this door

Was ordained for this season in life

The last medical records will arrive today. Go take a nap already JJ.

This but not that

woman with medication, supplements, too many, overdose, Lyme, chronic illness, naturopath, functional, medicine, supplements

Take the B Complex but not with Methyl B12 (met/met not val/val or met/val right?)

Twice per day not at breakfast and per your COMT SNP and not to excrete it by noon.

Add back the P5P because it’s not in my B Multiple as I once thought;

That was last year’s protocol and btw, change brands for the latter while you are at it too.

Again use folic acid already but not the one everyone else does

Lest you reject, binds or cancels out stuff with the rest, if you tolerate it of course.

What about that folate receptor antibody study from that lab

That your other Doctor told me about but did not do last year?  Duh, what?

And take the Sambuca all the time not just when battling a cold

Because it’s the only zinc I can tolerate but not with my newly found NAC dose.

Be sure to take the Claritin with manganese to fool the Lyme

Which I guess I have but only clinically and because my labs say this mineral is low.

Then there’s the magnesium I finally found that I could take or soak in through the skin

But take that one twice per day as well so it doesn’t go out with the B’s.

So if this makes any sense to you then you understand my plan better than me,

Because things are getting insane over here while still treating OP plus the P in the brain.

Oh yeah, the multi-factorial binder I took 2 hours after the new anti-parasitic

Must follow everything by 2 hours lest it cancel it out like a whiny kid who drops her stolen candy while running away.

Surely there’s more to know in this and not that:  just my brain dump for tonight

Can’t wait for my appointment next week when more test results will tweak this madness even further!

Stay tuned . . .

JJ