And there he was

Dr. David Jeremiah, life beyond amazing, tour, Fort Wayne, coliseum, event, Christian, Blackhawk Church, believer, inspiration

My husband, Steve, and I recently attended Dr. David Jeremiah’s A Life Beyond Amazing event in our town.  I enjoyed Dr. Jeremiah’s presentations:  first to get acquainted with his family life then his message on enduring life’s challenges as unto the Lord.  However I must say that the fundraising prayer by one of his staff was tacky!  The music was loud, motivating, and moving.  Overall I must say that it felt good to be worshiping and learning in the company of fellow believers in Jesus Christ again.

I really wanted to meet Dr. Jeremiah after the event.  No problemmo as just one of about 10,000 people in attendance, right?  Very carefully we made our way to show center from the nosebleed section of the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum.  My balance was a bit off from the sensory overload from many directions as I still battle Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome.  Nonetheless, I was a woman on a mission and soon found ourselves in front of the stage talking to the gifted musicians still lingering around.  I complimented Dr. Jeremiah’s granddaughter who sang in the worship team and asked where I might find her grandfather?  “He had to leave for a fundraising dinner,” was all she said.  I was disappointed but understood.  Fort Wayne, Indiana was the starting place for Dr. Jeremiah’s ministry and many members of the church he had founded here were in attendance; surely there were special activities going on to which Steve and I were not invited!

We tried to find some restrooms that were not swamped by the crowds still leaving the arena.  Having been there for shows many times before, when we headed down an open hallway where some smaller meeting rooms were located.  We encountered the vocalists again and saw a meeting room bustling with people just before we found our destination.  The hallways were virtually empty except for a few late-comers headed to what looked like a reception.  Then just before I turned to go into the lady’s room, I saw him!  Dr. Jeremiah was walking with his wife headed for that same room and it was becoming clear that we had just passed the room where his post-event activities were to take place.

This was my moment and I stepped up to it.  I walked up to Dr. David Jeremiah with my arm outstretched to shake his hand.  He accepted it and looked into my eyes briefly as I said what I had rehearsed in my mind ever since I had expressed a desire to go to the event days beforehand.  It went something like this:

Hi.  My name is Julie ____.  Several years ago you gave a message that included the teaching that God’s man in the middle of God’s will, will not perish until the Lord God ordains it.  I wanted to tell you how much that message has meant to me as I have battled a serious illness with seizures every day for the past 5 years.  Thank you.  Keep doing what you are doing!

His spoke words that followed mine as I finished the sentence from his audio tape, as if he had just given the message yesterday and not over 10 years ago!  He thanked me and quickly continued to his destination with his wife.  I continued to my own destination with a sense of wonder and amazement.  That moment was ordained by God for sure, just for me, just for him.

My spirit was calm and full as I thought about all that had transpired over the past 2 1/2 hours.  Steve and I drove home lightly chatting along the way, mostly quietly in our own thoughts.  I would be very sick with convulsive episodes within the hour of returning home and showering.  My senses were completely overloaded from the loud music, close proximity to other people, and the effects of some new treatment ramping up.  For the first time I did not feel traumatized by the serious illness that I have been selected to endure.  My own words provided the comfort I needed to get through the darkness of the night.

God’s woman, in the middle of God’s will, will not perish until the Lord God ordains it.  He has a plan and purpose for our lives even in the midst of suffering.  And should I finish well, the tasks before me no matter how difficult, there may be reward someday but first there certainly will be a closeness to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, that transcends my understanding.  I want that.  And touch points in life like these will help me to craft my own life beyond amazing.

I’m up for that.

JJ

 

Little blue booties ring true

The little reminders that things are going to be o.k., that the Lord is in charge, and that you have all you need are quite an encouragement to me today.  I am seeing this more clearly as my head clears after a whirlwind “Plan B” long weekend.

We never made it to Branson, Missouri for the celebration of my Other Mom’s (aka mother-in-law’s) 80th birthday celebration.  Family was scheduled to land there from 4 States for a long weekend including the 4th of July.  My Other Dad (aka father-in-law) had an acute worsening of multiple joint pain and was unable to drive the two of them cross-country from California to Missouri so we made the decision to do what was best:  cancel and reschedule the trip for the Fall.  We all scrambled to cancel various reservations made for camping, cabins, the Dixie Stampede show, watering of the garden in our absence, etc.  Then this wifey-poo decided she still needed to get away . . .

Meanwhile, my life continues to be dominated by the treatment of chronic Lyme disease, a serious fungal co-infection (protomyxzoa rheumatica), and the complicated detox/supplement regimes that go with it.  While I am grateful for a solid treatment plan, the making of our home into a hospital plus the tangible reminders at home of thousands of hellish convulsive episodes begs for a change of scenery when possible.  Sure looked like the enormous effort to get away was going to be worth a bit ‘o respite from all of those reminders.  I reacted selfishly when everything changed.  I was more crushed for my own sorry lot than my mother-in-laws cancelled family gathering, big birthday celebration.  Maybe I need less of “poor me baby,” sentiment, eh?

Steve and I thought through our options.  We had cancelled supporting a paddling race in a town about 100 miles away since we were going to be gone so we re-volunteered to help out and bring our Stellar kayak display.  But travelling a total of 200 miles plus standing out in the hot sun all day recording race times and hosting Steve’s booth seemed a bit much after 3 straight days of IV antibiotics.  So what about camping afterwards?  In the end we worked into the wee hours of the morning the night before the race to make Plan B a reality!

  • Supporting the race.
  • Finishing up all shopping plus cooking within a day for my special diet.
  • Making new reservations to camp in 2 places over a holiday weekend beginning north of the race and en-route to a new destination.
  • Continue north to Silver Lake Dunes and the campground adjacent to a Christian camp where a young couple we know has worked for about 7 years.
  • Return home after the 4th of July for Steve to return to work, allowing him to finish some important training and projects that we would have missed had we gone to Branson.
  • Resume treatment at home after a 5-day break.
  • Commence about 8 loads of laundry, post-camping melee, etc. too!

So with a tremendous effort, the ebb-n-flow of violent reactive episodes that followed being off of my treatment schedule, and some sweet memories sprinkled therein we had a decent weekend overall.  At some level I exclaim:  how crazy!  And: Is it worth it?  Well my answer this time is different than in the past:  NO!  There still are too many noxious exposures from campfires in any campground to succeed at avoidance even inside a modest travel trailer.  There is always some type of breakdown that ends up stressing us out, creating conflict even nearly 5 years down the road from dealing with this serious illness.  When we got back I was ready to sell the travel trailer the Lord had provided the resources for almost 3 years ago.  What were we thinking back then anyways?  Trying to continue with a normal life was my focus then when I did not have a clear treatment plan.  Killing the beasts within me at an extraordinary cost is my focus now.  The proceeds from the sale could pay off some of our debt.  I was ready to let it go should the Lord be leading me to do so.

In a Christian marriage, the husband is the God-ordained spiritual leader of the home.  His headship is God’s design for the protection and provision of his wife and family as he follows the leading of the Lord.  I have come to trust this, be blessed as well in submitting to Steve.  As it turns out in the scenario I have shared here, Steve suggested that we wait to make a decision about the trailer until later this year.  We have a couple more trips planned and it is clear that he wants me with him on all of them.  How sweet!  His love is amazing.  We will make some further adjustments in how we handle things next time and hope that I will be doing better as my treatment progresses; going with a partial treatment holiday could work out better for travelling than dropping everything, Lord willing!

Oh did I mention the blue footies yet?  I bought a large box of disposable medical shoe coverings in anticipation of developing a new product this past Spring.  (I could earn some money to pay for the development of my real invention by my company, Two Step Solutions, Inc.)  Attaching a Swiffer-style duster with Velcro to the bottom of a disposable slipper makes a great foot-broom for dusting wood floors.  This saves a lot of time and effort as compared to other cleaning methods, IMHO!  Then when I continued to have difficulty functioning, the idea got shelved instead of developed.  Dang!  Flash forward 2 months later and those cute booties are part of the garments I ask my home health nurse to wear to avoid chemical/dust exposures when administering my IV antibiotics three times per week.  Works great!  And in thinking through all of this today I am reminded of these truths:

John 16:33 New International Version (NIV)

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Matthew 6:25-27 New International Version (NIV)

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

My Heavenly Father and Husband is so good to me.  He loves me so and I get to feel it everyday in the arms of my beloved Stevers.  The Lord is there in times of wretchedness, times of joy . . . none of it will be wasted as He leads me home to dwell in the heavenly mansion of many rooms, near the river of Life, with the saints who have gone before me sheltered in His majesty beyond imagination.  Thank you Lord that you sprinkle some of that goodness into my days to encourage me, to encourage my beloved.  Thank you for caring about all the details of our lives.  I submit them to You.  We will wait upon the Lord, Jesus Christ, until You walk us home to sit at Your feet in awe and wonder of all that has gone before us:  from blue booties to a lighthouse along the shore.

This rings true above all else:  You are so good to me.  Thank you Lord.

Dunes Harbor, Sleeping Bear Dunes, lighthouse, just julie writes, Julie Horney

Kayaking at Lighthouse Beach along Silver Lake Dunes

 

 

 

This could start simply or really complicated

no mercury

 

The short story:

The next step in my treatment of ongoing illness will be a “pre-tox” protocol before actual mercury chelation.  Methylmercury is chelated through the liver and gut; inorganic mercury is chelated through the kidneys.  Since I am hypersensitive to every approach attempted thus far, my doctor recommends beginning treatment with remedies to open up these elimination pathways before beginning chelation.  I’ll probably start with one of the five products recommended by Quicksilver Scientific:  the company that invented mercury speciation testing and this more targeted method of detoxification.

The long story:

After my doctor’s office losing my test results, my pleading with the company to email them directly to me, hand delivering the report to my doctor’s office in the middle of their move from one building to another, cancelling an appointment in favor of a personal phone call on Saturday, and fretting until getting that call with the results on Sunday night, a plan is now in place for me!  We will  need to progress slowly since EVERY TREATMENT I have attempted thus far has resulted in increased seizure attacks and convulsions.  It makes sense to attempt to open up the chelation pathways first for these two types of mercury since I rank very high in both forms.  It also makes sense for me to complete some additional testing of systemic metals to clarify the clinical picture and avoid further toxicity as we proceed.

So I began to research the initial products needed for this “pre-tox” protocol and lo and behold I take issue with four of them!  Three are homeopathic remedies from a very New Age German company that directly conflicts with my Christian world view.  I decided over twenty years ago not to use homeopathic remedies:  why do we need alchemy and weirdness for substances God created in this world for our health and well being?  I have never felt good on any of these products!  I need to pray about this for sure.  And the fifth substance in the pre-tox program is made with an ionic solution of marine plankton.  Does anyone recall that I got deathly ill with viral hepatitis at the beginning of this hell from cyanobacteria aka blue green algae?  Let’s hope that they are not the same thing?  Maybe one is a fish and the other is a plant?  I am frightfully aware of the negative consequences of any biotoxin in my weakened frame . . .

The one product NOT in question is IMD 30x.  While a homeopathic-like preparation, the main ingredient is a proprietary thiol-functionalized silica.  No problemmo.  I can even pronounce the ingredients!  Too bad the company states that it’s best taken with the green water stuff!  Sigh.  You know I’m just a little weary after 3 years, tens of thousands of dollars, prayers, submission, and getting up to struggle through another day until zapped into a painful place . . .

The end of this story for now:

I will pray about this.  I will consult with my husband.  I will talk to our compounding pharmacist about this (who gratefully is a God-fearing man).  I will call the manufacturer of the Quinton Isotonic Marine Plasma about the purity of its product and review their extensive website further.  Maybe I’ll be o.k. with two of the five products after all?  Then I’ll add another specific nutritional supplement before I begin the actual chelation process in about 3 months.  With ongoing experimentation of zeolite and activated charcoal plus ending all consumption of fish, I should be well on my way to a better place early next year.  Lord willing, that is!  JJ

Here we go again!

Here we go again!

 

Who God Is

Bible and crossLove this post from a Calvary Chapel pastor, Joe Mann.  He gave me permission to share this from his Facebook posting yesterday.  Here is a great reminder of who God is paradoxically from the perspective of what He cannot do.

10 Things God Can’t Do:
1. God can’t get tired.
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary.—Isaiah 40:28
2. God can’t take on a job he can’t handle.
Ah, Lord God! Behold, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for you.—Jeremiah 32:17
3. God can’t be unholy.
And one cried to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!”—Isaiah 6:3
4. God can’t be prejudiced.
In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears him and works righteousness is accepted by him.—Acts 10:34-35
5. God can’t break a promise.
My covenant I will not break, nor alter the word that has gone out of my lips.—Psalm 89:34
6. God can’t remember sins he’s chosen to forget.
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins.—Isaiah 43:25
7. God can’t make a loser.
Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ.—2 Corinthians 2:14
8. God can’t abandon you.
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.—Deuteronomy 31:6
9. God can’t stop thinking about you.
How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with you.—Psalm 139:17-18
10. God can’t stop loving you.
Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.—Jeremiah 31:3

These words bring me comfort today.  I hope they do for you too, Gentle Reader.  JJ

I get it Jonah!

Jonah was an Old Testament prophet called by God to warn the people of Nineveh to repent.  God’s judgment was eminent unless they changed their evil ways.  Jonah burned with anger because he did not like the people of Nineveh and thought they should not be the concern of the almighty God.  So instead of going to Nineveh, he headed off on a ship to Tarshish instead.  A mighty storm rose up, threatening the ship and crew.  In time they found out that it was because of Jonah that their lives were at stake.  At Jonah’s suggestion, they tossed him into the sea and the storm ended.  Jonah was taken up by a mighty fish and spent about 3 days inside before repentance  of his own disobedience towards God.  Eventually Jonah went to Nineveh, he warned the people, they repented, and their lives were spared.  Jonah still wasn’t happy . . .

******************

I was making some new necklace designs the other day, very late at night.  Things were not coming together well as I had to re-do a simple slider knot at least five times before I got it right.  Then I made the same mistake again on another piece!  Do you have a “little tiny voice” that sometimes nudges you in the direction you should go?  Yeah, it was yapping at me to save a particular scrap of hemp cord in case I would need it for another part of the new collection.  Fooey, I thought.  I have other colors and I really wanted to make some gift ties with the white cord not save it for something else that was not in front of me.  So I didn’t save the cord.  It was the last piece of that color and it got used as part of a gift box packaging that was sent out the next day.  I did not think about it anymore.  Or rather I did not think about it any more until I had to repair a mistake in one of the new necklaces six days later.

I lost an hour of my life trying to correct my mistake with anything but the white cord remaining in another gift tie.  I could not believe how many goofy mistakes I was making trying to avoid getting out the bag of gift ties, untying a braided strand, and using a proper length of cord to make the repair.  Finally I laid down my will.  It wasn’t working.  Repairing the wrap knot and saving the jewelry piece required me to dig out the supply that had been within arm’s reach all along.  Sigh.  Alright then.  Hunker down and take care of it already!  Moments later I was done.  But what had happened to me?  It’s just a piece of jewelry for crying out loud!  Yes, and I might as well have been a stubborn 2 year old for how I was acting.  I’ll never get that hour of my life back again.  The only person to blame is me, not some illness brain fog thang.

Has this ever happened to you, Gentle Reader?  Hopefully the stakes were not as high as a nation threatening to be destroyed because of the selfishness of a wayward prophet.  There probably were consequences of some kind though:  consequences that were unpleasant or harmful, wasteful.  Sure, we need to be gentle with ourselves when we make mistakes, live for a time in denial, procrastinate, and the like.  And yet when we are outright defiant to that which we know we should do we are hurting ourselves and maybe others too.  It’s a sign of immaturity, a lack of self discipline.  While we sometimes may need to delay making the right choice in a situation for a variety of reasons, let’s hope we get to task when there is a leading is from the Holy Spirit:  my tiny voice inside of me.  He has my best interests at heart even for the small events of life.  He cares for all of the details of my life just as He cares for the nations of the world.  That’s just how mighty our God is:  the great I AM.

Dear Heavenly Father, I am weak this night.  I am still capable of heeding the counsel of the Holy Spirit that ministers to my every need.  Thank you for the incredible gift of your indwelling Spirit.  I lay down my will this night in awe of Your love for me and majesty.  Strengthen me for both the mundane and more important tasks in the days ahead.  Grow my trust in you.  And if it is Your will, heal me of my infirmity so that I may be used for greater things.  Thank you for Your Word to teach us, guide us each day.  I love you Lord.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Adjustable Friendship  Necklaces from Threads of Hope and Trinity Jewelry by Design

Adjustable Friendship Necklaces from Threads of Hope and Trinity Jewelry by Design