After enduring hell on earth with dental professional #5 in my search for answers, I have decided to go another direction. Nine hours from now, my beloved hubby and I will be in the office of a new oral surgeon who will examine me and remove my infected tooth in the same visit. The procedure will include IV sedation in his office and not in a hospital setting. By this afternoon, we will be home and I will begin another process of recovery. The shutdown of “elective procedures” due to the corona virus which has delayed this procedure 5 weeks since my diagnosis will thus be overcome.
Lord willing, the convulsive episodes triggered by virtually every meal, even the pureed ones over the last week, will diminish. Will the episodes stop completely? Only my Lord knows the answer to that question.
We have been here before in: 1) 2015 with the extraction of 2 infected teeth (one of which had a root canal with a hidden amalgam) and 2) 2018 with the fabrication of specialized dental appliances by a Craniomandibular specialist. Both interventions brought significant gains however they did not fully eliminate the problems related to the trigeminal nerve complex on the left side of my face. Looks like there is another tooth involved. Looks like that problem is about to be extracted, i.e. it’s OUTTA HERE!
I am weary, Gentle Reader. I am concerned about pain management. I am concerned that while this procedure will solve an immediate problem, it will not stop the convulsive episodes that continue every day. Actually lately it has been multiple times per day: every night falling asleep is when they occur most consistently. My neck and upper traps are quite painful from the wrenching and rapid repetitive movements of the seizure attacks. Everything hurts in my broken frame. I have a headache every day. The mandated quarantine orders and fear of viral infection has kept us at home for most of the past 5 weeks. No Doctor, Chiropractor or Physical Therapy or Detox or IV Ozone treatments. What a crazy time in history to be chronically ill.
With nothing left to give, I submit the appointment later today to the will and covering of my Lord, Jesus Christ. Please carry me and my beloved this day . . . .
My husband, Steve, and I recently attended Dr. David Jeremiah’s A Life Beyond Amazing event in our town. I enjoyed Dr. Jeremiah’s presentations: first to get acquainted with his family life then his message on enduring life’s challenges as unto the Lord. However I must say that the fundraising prayer by one of his staff was tacky! The music was loud, motivating, and moving. Overall I must say that it felt good to be worshiping and learning in the company of fellow believers in Jesus Christ again.
I really wanted to meet Dr. Jeremiah after the event. No problemmo as just one of about 10,000 people in attendance, right? Very carefully we made our way to show center from the nosebleed section of the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum. My balance was a bit off from the sensory overload from many directions as I still battle Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome. Nonetheless, I was a woman on a mission and soon found ourselves in front of the stage talking to the gifted musicians still lingering around. I complimented Dr. Jeremiah’s granddaughter who sang in the worship team and asked where I might find her grandfather? “He had to leave for a fundraising dinner,” was all she said. I was disappointed but understood. Fort Wayne, Indiana was the starting place for Dr. Jeremiah’s ministry and many members of the church he had founded here were in attendance; surely there were special activities going on to which Steve and I were not invited!
We tried to find some restrooms that were not swamped by the crowds still leaving the arena. Having been there for shows many times before, when we headed down an open hallway where some smaller meeting rooms were located. We encountered the vocalists again and saw a meeting room bustling with people just before we found our destination. The hallways were virtually empty except for a few late-comers headed to what looked like a reception. Then just before I turned to go into the lady’s room, I saw him! Dr. Jeremiah was walking with his wife headed for that same room and it was becoming clear that we had just passed the room where his post-event activities were to take place.
This was my moment and I stepped up to it. I walked up to Dr. David Jeremiah with my arm outstretched to shake his hand. He accepted it and looked into my eyes briefly as I said what I had rehearsed in my mind ever since I had expressed a desire to go to the event days beforehand. It went something like this:
Hi. My name is Julie ____. Several years ago you gave a message that included the teaching that God’s man in the middle of God’s will, will not perish until the Lord God ordains it. I wanted to tell you how much that message has meant to me as I have battled a serious illness with seizures every day for the past 5 years. Thank you. Keep doing what you are doing!
His spoke words that followed mine as I finished the sentence from his audio tape, as if he had just given the message yesterday and not over 10 years ago! He thanked me and quickly continued to his destination with his wife. I continued to my own destination with a sense of wonder and amazement. That moment was ordained by God for sure, just for me, just for him.
My spirit was calm and full as I thought about all that had transpired over the past 2 1/2 hours. Steve and I drove home lightly chatting along the way, mostly quietly in our own thoughts. I would be very sick with convulsive episodes within the hour of returning home and showering. My senses were completely overloaded from the loud music, close proximity to other people, and the effects of some new treatment ramping up. For the first time I did not feel traumatized by the serious illness that I have been selected to endure. My own words provided the comfort I needed to get through the darkness of the night.
God’s woman, in the middle of God’s will, will not perish until the Lord God ordains it. He has a plan and purpose for our lives even in the midst of suffering. And should I finish well, the tasks before me no matter how difficult, there may be reward someday but first there certainly will be a closeness to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, that transcends my understanding. I want that. And touch points in life like these will help me to craft my own life beyond amazing.
The little reminders that things are going to be o.k., that the Lord is in charge, and that you have all you need are quite an encouragement to me today. I am seeing this more clearly as my head clears after a whirlwind “Plan B” long weekend.
We never made it to Branson, Missouri for the celebration of my Other Mom’s (aka mother-in-law’s) 80th birthday celebration. Family was scheduled to land there from 4 States for a long weekend including the 4th of July. My Other Dad (aka father-in-law) had an acute worsening of multiple joint pain and was unable to drive the two of them cross-country from California to Missouri so we made the decision to do what was best: cancel and reschedule the trip for the Fall. We all scrambled to cancel various reservations made for camping, cabins, the Dixie Stampede show, watering of the garden in our absence, etc. Then this wifey-poo decided she still needed to get away . . .
Meanwhile, my life continues to be dominated by the treatment of chronic Lyme disease, a serious fungal co-infection (protomyxzoa rheumatica), and the complicated detox/supplement regimes that go with it. While I am grateful for a solid treatment plan, the making of our home into a hospital plus the tangible reminders at home of thousands of hellish convulsive episodes begs for a change of scenery when possible. Sure looked like the enormous effort to get away was going to be worth a bit ‘o respite from all of those reminders. I reacted selfishly when everything changed. I was more crushed for my own sorry lot than my mother-in-laws cancelled family gathering, big birthday celebration. Maybe I need less of “poor me baby,” sentiment, eh?
Steve and I thought through our options. We had cancelled supporting a paddling race in a town about 100 miles away since we were going to be gone so we re-volunteered to help out and bring our Stellar kayak display. But travelling a total of 200 miles plus standing out in the hot sun all day recording race times and hosting Steve’s booth seemed a bit much after 3 straight days of IV antibiotics. So what about camping afterwards? In the end we worked into the wee hours of the morning the night before the race to make Plan B a reality!
Supporting the race.
Finishing up all shopping plus cooking within a day for my special diet.
Making new reservations to camp in 2 places over a holiday weekend beginning north of the race and en-route to a new destination.
Continue north to Silver Lake Dunes and the campground adjacent to a Christian camp where a young couple we know has worked for about 7 years.
Return home after the 4th of July for Steve to return to work, allowing him to finish some important training and projects that we would have missed had we gone to Branson.
Resume treatment at home after a 5-day break.
Commence about 8 loads of laundry, post-camping melee, etc. too!
So with a tremendous effort, the ebb-n-flow of violent reactive episodes that followed being off of my treatment schedule, and some sweet memories sprinkled therein we had a decent weekend overall. At some level I exclaim: how crazy! And: Is it worth it? Well my answer this time is different than in the past: NO! There still are too many noxious exposures from campfires in any campground to succeed at avoidance even inside a modest travel trailer. There is always some type of breakdown that ends up stressing us out, creating conflict even nearly 5 years down the road from dealing with this serious illness. When we got back I was ready to sell the travel trailer the Lord had provided the resources for almost 3 years ago. What were we thinking back then anyways? Trying to continue with a normal life was my focus then when I did not have a clear treatment plan. Killing the beasts within me at an extraordinary cost is my focus now. The proceeds from the sale could pay off some of our debt. I was ready to let it go should the Lord be leading me to do so.
In a Christian marriage, the husband is the God-ordained spiritual leader of the home. His headship is God’s design for the protection and provision of his wife and family as he follows the leading of the Lord. I have come to trust this, be blessed as well in submitting to Steve. As it turns out in the scenario I have shared here, Steve suggested that we wait to make a decision about the trailer until later this year. We have a couple more trips planned and it is clear that he wants me with him on all of them. How sweet! His love is amazing. We will make some further adjustments in how we handle things next time and hope that I will be doing better as my treatment progresses; going with a partial treatment holiday could work out better for travelling than dropping everything, Lord willing!
Oh did I mention the blue footies yet? I bought a large box of disposable medical shoe coverings in anticipation of developing a new product this past Spring. (I could earn some money to pay for the development of my real invention by my company, Two Step Solutions, Inc.) Attaching a Swiffer-style duster with Velcro to the bottom of a disposable slipper makes a great foot-broom for dusting wood floors. This saves a lot of time and effort as compared to other cleaning methods, IMHO! Then when I continued to have difficulty functioning, the idea got shelved instead of developed. Dang! Flash forward 2 months later and those cute booties are part of the garments I ask my home health nurse to wear to avoid chemical/dust exposures when administering my IV antibiotics three times per week. Works great! And in thinking through all of this today I am reminded of these truths:
John 16:33 New International Version (NIV)
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Matthew 6:25-27 New International Version (NIV)
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
My Heavenly Father and Husband is so good to me. He loves me so and I get to feel it everyday in the arms of my beloved Stevers. The Lord is there in times of wretchedness, times of joy . . . none of it will be wasted as He leads me home to dwell in the heavenly mansion of many rooms, near the river of Life, with the saints who have gone before me sheltered in His majesty beyond imagination. Thank you Lord that you sprinkle some of that goodness into my days to encourage me, to encourage my beloved. Thank you for caring about all the details of our lives. I submit them to You. We will wait upon the Lord, Jesus Christ, until You walk us home to sit at Your feet in awe and wonder of all that has gone before us: from blue booties to a lighthouse along the shore.
This rings true above all else: You are so good to me. Thank you Lord.
The next step in my treatment of ongoing illness will be a “pre-tox” protocol before actual mercury chelation. Methylmercury is chelated through the liver and gut; inorganic mercury is chelated through the kidneys. Since I am hypersensitive to every approach attempted thus far, my doctor recommends beginning treatment with remedies to open up these elimination pathways before beginning chelation. I’ll probably start with one of the five products recommended by Quicksilver Scientific: the company that invented mercury speciation testing and this more targeted method of detoxification.
The long story:
After my doctor’s office losing my test results, my pleading with the company to email them directly to me, hand delivering the report to my doctor’s office in the middle of their move from one building to another, cancelling an appointment in favor of a personal phone call on Saturday, and fretting until getting that call with the results on Sunday night, a plan is now in place for me! We will need to progress slowly since EVERY TREATMENT I have attempted thus far has resulted in increased seizure attacks and convulsions. It makes sense to attempt to open up the chelation pathways first for these two types of mercury since I rank very high in both forms. It also makes sense for me to complete some additional testing of systemic metals to clarify the clinical picture and avoid further toxicity as we proceed.
So I began to research the initial products needed for this “pre-tox” protocol and lo and behold I take issue with four of them! Three are homeopathic remedies from a very New Age German company that directly conflicts with my Christian world view. I decided over twenty years ago not to use homeopathic remedies: why do we need alchemy and weirdness for substances God created in this world for our health and well being? I have never felt good on any of these products! I need to pray about this for sure. And the fifth substance in the pre-tox program is made with an ionic solution of marine plankton. Does anyone recall that I got deathly ill with viral hepatitis at the beginning of this hell from cyanobacteria aka blue green algae? Let’s hope that they are not the same thing? Maybe one is a fish and the other is a plant? I am frightfully aware of the negative consequences of any biotoxin in my weakened frame . . .
The one product NOT in question is IMD 30x. While a homeopathic-like preparation, the main ingredient is a proprietary thiol-functionalized silica. No problemmo. I can even pronounce the ingredients! Too bad the company states that it’s best taken with the green water stuff! Sigh. You know I’m just a little weary after 3 years, tens of thousands of dollars, prayers, submission, and getting up to struggle through another day until zapped into a painful place . . .
The end of this story for now:
I will pray about this. I will consult with my husband. I will talk to our compounding pharmacist about this (who gratefully is a God-fearing man). I will call the manufacturer of the Quinton Isotonic Marine Plasma about the purity of its product and review their extensive website further. Maybe I’ll be o.k. with two of the five products after all? Then I’ll add another specific nutritional supplement before I begin the actual chelation process in about 3 months. With ongoing experimentation of zeolite and activated charcoal plus ending all consumption of fish, I should be well on my way to a better place early next year. Lord willing, that is! JJ
Love this post from a Calvary Chapel pastor, Joe Mann. He gave me permission to share this from his Facebook posting yesterday. Here is a great reminder of who God is paradoxically from the perspective of what He cannot do.
10 Things God Can’t Do:
1. God can’t get tired.
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary.—Isaiah 40:28
2. God can’t take on a job he can’t handle.
Ah, Lord God! Behold, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for you.—Jeremiah 32:17…
3. God can’t be unholy.
And one cried to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!”—Isaiah 6:3
4. God can’t be prejudiced.
In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears him and works righteousness is accepted by him.—Acts 10:34-35
5. God can’t break a promise.
My covenant I will not break, nor alter the word that has gone out of my lips.—Psalm 89:34
6. God can’t remember sins he’s chosen to forget.
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake; and I will not remember your sins.—Isaiah 43:25
7. God can’t make a loser.
Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ.—2 Corinthians 2:14
8. God can’t abandon you.
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.—Deuteronomy 31:6
9. God can’t stop thinking about you.
How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with you.—Psalm 139:17-18
10. God can’t stop loving you.
Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.—Jeremiah 31:3
These words bring me comfort today. I hope they do for you too, Gentle Reader. JJ