A leaning, a leading?

Palisades Reservoir, lead poisoning, testimonial, summer lake

So I’ve had increased convulsive episodes lately and especially since my beloved came home from a trip. There was fragrance on his person and stuff; that night and the next 3 days went poorly. We suspected the fragrances as a trigger and proceeded to clean everything multiple times. It was yet another sad and frustrating experience to endure yet not without some redeeming value.

Just prior to Steve’s departure for 6 days, I began a new treatment for a fungal sinus infection. I was tolerating it well and had the best 6-8 days than any in the prior 7 years! We were encouraged! 3 days into his trip I developed abdominal pain but attributed it to maybe some stress. It never resolved.

When Steve came home, there started to be convulsive episodes within 2 hours of this compounded sinus treatment. Since I have not tolerated medications for this condition in the past, I was pleased when a functional med Doc found a colloidial silver/EDTA preparation to try. The CS treats the fungal infection and the EDTA helps break up biofilms (which makes the infection harder to treat if missed) in addition to acting as a preservative. I decided to tough it out and continue with the treatment. Surely a chronic sinus infection could make me more vulnerable to noxious smells; the membrane between the sinuses and the brain is tiny. It’s why certain smells (like the baking of bread) can elicit such strong memories.

Lying down and tipping my head back also triggered episodes. Yes I have neck and cervical disc issues. The vertebral artery in my neck is positioned in a vulnerable way. Things are better overall with the improved positioning of my head/neck/jaw using specialized dental appliances. Recent application of specific vagal nerve stimulation techniques had helped both prevent and end convulsive episodes. But all of them became ineffective these past few days.

There appears to be another factor and today the Lord showed me what to do. EDTA is also a chelator of lead. For me, just starting a small amount of a detox agent triggers dumping of the respective toxin. Being post-menopausal and osteoporotic has brought increased lead toxicity noted in blood tests. I’ve already drastically reduced both levels of mercury and many other toxins discovered in numerous lab test, treated in numerous protocols. Today it was time to revisit the lead piece of this health puzzle!

It took quite awhile to communicate to Steve a plan of attack as my body was contorting, erupting in maddening/spontaneous screams, struggling to breathe and sequence the facial movements to produce words. My hands bent backwards into an arthritic/extension pose you might say resembled that of a zombie. My legs would flap together-and-apart violently and repetitively, uncontrollably. My head-and-neck and upper torso writhed in slow motion as I struggled to raise my body up to drink the concoction he would feed me through a straw. And finally when there was a break so I could breathe, sequence the oral-motor steps of swallowing, close my lips around the straw, and drink the potion we created:

Aloe water for gastric comfort
Full spectrum binder from Quicksilver Scientific called the Ultra Binder
Fiji water that contains silica that binds aluminum
Large dose of a zeolite product called CytoDetox for lead and any other heavy metals not covered by the Ultra Binder

I often respond energetically to rescue remedies; liposomals are especially powerful due to their rapid absorption into the bloodstream through the mucosal lining of the mouth. I held some of the liquid in my mouth, around the dental appliance. Then I drank more water.

It wasn’t long before the episode slowed then stopped. An hour later, my abdominal pain was half of what it was. Did you know that abdominal pain is one of the primary symptoms of lead poisoning? I suspect that the EDTA being sprayed directly into my nose and quickly being absorbed into my bloodstream got lead moving quicker than I could chelate out of my body on my own. The Ultra Binder has stopped episodes before. Why else would things turn around so quickly if it wasn’t due to a relatively acute toxicity?

We really want to be able to see family for the upcoming holidays without the heartache and drama of this devastating illness. Day by day we seek the Lord’s wisdom and pray for mercy, for healing. Just when recovery looks promising and there is relief, a horrific setback seems to follow. I can’t even embrace my husband right now for fear of having to pull away in another injurious, head-banging episode. Three weeks ago I went in and out of the worst emotional slump of these past 7 years then realized it was the lies of Satan himself I was believing. I covered it with the truth of my Lord, Jesus Christ Who has promised me in His Word a hope and a future.

So I have a new focus for treatment and looks like some really good tools are already on our kitchen counter, within reach. Will it be fruitful? I really don’t know. Tell you what though, I am still not giving up. There IS hope beyond what we can see and the proof lies with the empty tomb, the risen Christ, the reason for the Christmas season before us. And that keeps me going no matter what comes in the day, in the night.

I hope this is true for you too, Gentle Reader. There is hope beyond what we can see.

With love, JJ

UPDATE:   Functional Med Doc says it’s not the EDTA but a mold hit from raking leaves a few times recently.  I dunno.  I continued having convulsive episodes within an hour after the sinus spray treatment and had to stop it.  Time to regroup again!

He Loved Well, He Lived for Christ

The passing of John Sr. brought sorrow as I considered the impact this man had on my life.  And I was not alone.  Everyone knew John’s love for his family and friends, the Lord, Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of believers united by our faith.  It wasn’t until I started to describe three key scenes in my past where his care was palpable to me that I started to grieve the passing of this faithful servant of the Lord.  Surely the heavenly hosts are celebrating your coming home sir . . .

My connection to John Sr. was initially tainted by the critical viewpoint of my former spouse.  I suppose it’s easy to criticize someone else for faults that the two of you may share?  Years later this appeared to be the case.  So when I ran into John Sr. just 3 weeks after my former spouse left me, I was not prepared for this gentleman’s reaction to the  news.  He asked how Craig was doing and I was speechless for a moment:  did he not know what had happened?  I guess not.  I had to tell him.  John Sr’s face fell as I shared the devastation that was just beginning to unfold in my life;  John Sr. looked at me as if someone had punched him in the gut right there in the store!  He could barely speak, mumbled a few condolences, and shuffled away obviously affected by my story.  In the moment I was stunned as well.  Why was he walking away when I had just shared my heart with my elder brother in Christ?  Much later I supposed it was a type of grief reaction.  Not long afterwards, I experienced the most important message from our encounter that day:  my brother in Christ loved me as his sister in Christ, like a father I did not have at the time.  He was hurting for me, hurting for the fall from grace of our brother in Christ.  I also learned that day just how profoundly adultery affects many others in the body of Christ in addition to the spouse.

John Sr. didn’t live anymore in the town of that grocery store where I had encountered him.  I would not see him again until a few months later when visiting with his daughter who had become a good friend of mine.  Deb and I had traveled from the Chicago suburbs where we lived to her parents’ home in the Wisconsin countryside.  A neighbor and fellow member of our church (where we had all met) came along for what was to be a fun time of fellowship, food, and relaxation.  Their youngest son played classical guitar to everyone’s delight and John Sr. told amazing stories of missionaries they knew, places they had been, and so on.  We were one big family for the weekend!  That is, until nighttime came.

The Y family always had a menagerie of sofas with hide-a-beds, cots, and blankets to accommodate everyone.   Me and my neighbor, Ardie, made our beds in the living room while the family tucked themselves to sleep in their respective bedrooms throughout the modest home.  But I could not sleep.  Instead of feeling full from the lively fellowship and activities of the visit, I was filled with grief and sorrow from the tremendous losses in progress in my life back home.  I lain in the dark with tears streaming down my face like a crack in a retaining wall holding back an avalanche of tears.  Finally I could not hold it in anymore.  Everyone was asleep in the dark starry night whilst I was coming unglued!  I gathered myself as best as I could and walked out into the cool blackness that received me outside.  The tears and whimpers gushed easily then uncontrollably.  “Would they ever stop?”  I wondered.

Before long I could hear some wrestling of the folks inside the house.  A light went on in one of the bedrooms, illuminating the front porch where I was holding myself up against a wall.  Arlene and John Sr. were up!  Despite my best efforts to weep quietly, they had heard me and came to comfort me.  John Sr. muttered again with the same type of sorrow I had seen in the grocery store.  Arlene wrapped her warm, motherly arms around me and brought me inside to sit on a handmade bench with her for as long as I needed.  He got me a blanket.  She stayed with me until the tears flowed no more.  Eventually I spoke a little while she simply listened.  What a gift she gave me that night!  No one said much about it all the next morning.  Somehow they just all understood the pain I was going through.  They did the best thing that they could do to help me through that traumatic time in my life:  they just loved on me like one of their own.

John Sr. and Arlene were the best at loving on people, a model we know comes from the love who is embodied in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  That love is as pure as it is convicting with the truth of His Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit.  The two of them shared scripture often and how the Lord had led them through their lives, how He too may encourage and lead your in your days as well.  I experienced this witness in an unexpected way about 3 years later.  The Lord had begun the process of restoration in my life and brought me a wonderful man of God named Steve.  We were engaged that September and I wanted to visit the important places and people of my life before moving to Indiana to marry him.  I brought Steve to meet John Sr. and Arlene, this time without my friend Deb, their daughter.  I wanted them to see my happiness and thank them for being an important part of it coming to fruition.

We had a wonderful visit.  After Steve and I returned to Illinois from that long weekend, and after Steve had already gone on home to Indiana, I got a call from John Sr.  He didn’t waste any time chatting about our visit and got right to the point:  check yourself and the truth of God’s Word, the Bible, before you take this step in marrying Steve.  I was a bit taken aback by him questioning things but heeded his advice.  The next few weeks were filled with prayer, scripture reading, pastoral counselling, and looking honestly with Steve at our Biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage.  All counsel pointed to a blessing for us so we proceeded to get married by the end of the year.  The counsel of John Sr. was a necessary part of our preparation that brought clarity that would be needed when others would pass judgement on our union.  We have complete confidence and peace that  we made a God-honoring decision to be together forever.

I have often quoted Mark Twain at key times in my life who said that the un-examined life is not worth living.  Indeed we can find rich value and meaning by taking a closer look at our lives within the context of God’s plans for our lives, ways He gifts each of us, orchestration of events, our limitations, and the stuff that He crafts for each of us as we live out our days on this fallen earth in which we dwell.  If we are honest then our search for meaning will lead us to the Creator: the person of Jesus Christ.  If we heed the call to recognize our sinful nature, receive His gift of salvation and redemption then choose to grow in knowledge and character of our Lord, then the transformation of our lives will shine for all the world to see.  We will become a witness for His transforming power, His love, His grace, His mercy, His goodness.  And a life seasoned by the love of Christ, never tainted by the trials we all endure, can become a life well-lived, well-loved for the glory of the Lord.  This is who John Sr. was.  This is the legacy that he has left for those who got to know him, were ministered to by his love and care, who witnessed his walk with the Lord every day of his life.

Well done John Sr:  faithful servant of the Lord!  Well done!  May God be the glory for the faithful witness of my brother in Christ.  May He also bless your beloved bride Arlene, until she joins you one day in the presence of our Lord.  Thank you for bringing me into your spiritual family through the faith that we share.  You have made a difference!  JJ

couple, Christian, husband and wife, Wisconsin, visiting, friends, woods, Fall, sunny day, engaged
Steve and Julie in Wisconsin, September 2, 2007