The times inbetween

Tis a time for more resting than doing

And it is unusual for me to give into the slower pace

But give in I must.

The rain garden project awaits an instructor’s touch

While our own landscape decides if bushes or an Amilsh “mini garage”

Will grace the outer banks of our bedroom.

Shall I attempt to rip out the red twig dogwoods,

My fav in garden beds here and the ‘burbs of Chicago

That don’t really like their sunny home but delight the view out the bedroom window til late summer?

The dog days of hot weather have sapped my zest for projects, most anything green

Or maybe it’s from having to stay home when hubby got to go without me

To his National paddling competition afar; yeah I was too tired to even go.

Yeah, I’m kinda down about all the failures these past 2 months —

Alas the Lord spoke to my heart; now maybe they shall give rise to something better for me?

The times in between the hills n valleys can bring a fresh new look

If I but heed the call to slow things down a bit, to rest

There are but a few tic zips here and there so I do believe something is going right at last!

Thank you Lord for seeing me through to this day

For allowing me to pass through the fiery tests, the times of despair, and hopelessness too

I may even get to go paddle locally tomorrow with my beloved River Bear.  Now won’t that just be saweet if I do?  JJ

Anticipation

The plans are set, the slow ramp up has begun

The research behind me the appeal for support made clear

Now to endure the daily wrath before newness may settle in.

Another new treatment, oh help me make it to then Lord!

So much at stake if we do not win

This horrific battle of which I have hated so very much.

One thing is clear:  Who holds the future:

My Lord, my King in Whom I trust

Surely He grieves my suffering and waits with us.

My beloved is tired from the journey . . . so very loooong

Mere moments of goodness, many hours of strife

And yet he loves me just the same.

I am humbled.

Perhaps some goodness will come soon?

sunrise, path, beach, anticipation, waiting, tomorrow, sunset, summer

I wait on thee

The needs are placed in the hands that be

My Lord in the lead guiding him, guiding me.

Appointments are scheduled, travel plans now made

Funds graciously coming in from the recent campaign.

I am humbled and anxious and weary and weak

Not knowing which way to turn or what to speak.

We must prepare now and pack as the time to leave nears

So much is there to do, to organize, coordinate, make some repairs.

If it be so that I will sell some things to help this lofty cause

To obtain the treatment that will heal my nerves and my jaw.

Three episodes today, when eating lunch then trying to make dinner

So I pureed my meal and with lots of yummy butter; it was a winner.

It’s too late to cry sans the stains have stung my cheeks and my clothes

I wonder if we will ever get answers from the One Who already knows?

Regardless I will forever choose to rest in the arms of my King

He brought me here, promised deliverance, so I trust Him with everything.

trust in the Lord, faith, Proverbs, 3, 5-6, scripture, Bible, verse, trust, how it plays out, daily life

The beat goes on

Looking for some meaning in this holding pattern of life

I find only the dings along the bottom of the barrel, cold and damp.

Went on a little adventure with my love only to land in a world of hurt

The ghastly symptoms embarrass me in front of a friend not yet known.

I really try to find a way out of this hell, I really do

With answers only to wait, check this, measure that as it is not time yet.

If only I had the eternal eyes of my Savior perhaps the angst would be less

The long naps on a sunny day awakened with distress of illness would be no bother.

“When?” would be replaced with patience, “why?” with simple faith and trust,

Pain with appreciation of endurance granted only by my dearest Lord.

Hold me now as it is too late for my strength to carry me any more

As this heart ticks off more moments, let me know that with You I will go on . . .

 

I got to Walmart today

Days where I just exist

Give way to tears

More often than not

Everyday now.

Waiting no longer suits me

Although it is my garment

Worn through hopes dashed

Threadbare to no end.

I study like a school girl

Not sure where the letters lead

Thinking this is “it”

And it is not.

Surely it is darkest

Before the break of day

That is my hope I guess

And my Lord too.

So little do I do

As the grass grows tall

Alone too much too

At least I got to Walmart today!

Walmart, shower, Target, Meme, pajamas, old man, glasses