Start today and create a new ending
Might be my mantra on this date:
My calendar awash with the death of my phone
Leaving empty spaces in the blocks that measured time.
Oh how I valued my days, my worth by that thingy
When asked to justify this or that,
I could find the day/the hour when the lost hope began
From another closed door once opened with promise, no less.
(Oh why cannot I recall the goodies lain in there too?)
So many files on paper or electronic memory stored away
In my weighty storage that marks thy years, thy self
Perhaps defining who I was over the decades
Including these five years of hell that came to roost.
“But what if I forget?” was be my byline to save
The records of divorce, of deaths, of expertise, of treatments once lived . . .
I suppose I collected hoping to arise somehow better
And yet somehow as my receptacles filled my person emptied too.
Perhaps now is the time to infill on the inside
Not in a black metal coffin with folders numbered by letter
But by character and trust:
That the Holy Spirit within me holds it all in order anyways.
He knows what I will need, where the important things are in His care
When I draw on my Lord’s infinity —
Not the confines of my mind or spaces
Lest I limit my future by my past by carrying too many things.
Yes, let the purging begin.
Let the trusting run faster and freely.
Let the light of hope return even in the faintest of twilight.
Let me start over with a new ending: this time Divine. JJ
Gentle Reader: This day for us both “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” Ephesians 1:17-19